Opinion: Poor listening? 6 ways you can fix it

There has long been a need for improving listening skills. While observing and coaching clients in fine-tuning communications, I have identified three main reasons listening is weak.

First, there is a lack of formalized, professional listening training. Some surveys show that only 2% of professionals indicate they have been formally taught how to listen. Second, gaining strong listening skills is not a priority; it’s taken for granted. Listening is often assumed rather than cultivated. Third, listening well is hard. We are busy, pulled in many directions, and working on being a good listener isn’t even on our radar. But it should be.

An investment in improving listening brings many rewards because it’s one of the most powerful tools a leader or business owner can possess. It builds personal credibility, garners respect and fosters stronger relationships with customers and team members. If you supervise others, they will view you as a more effective leader if your listening skills are effective. It can help at home, too.

My daughter at 5 years old didn’t need a listening course to know when I wasn’t listening. One evening, as I pretended to listen while watching the news, she placed her hands on either side of my face and said, “Daddy, listen to me.” Even at a young age, she understood the importance of being truly heard.

Luckily, listening is a learnable skill. Here are six ways to improve your listening.

1. Take 51% of the responsibility. Be primarily responsible for the outcome of a dialogue. Make it your mission to understand and fully comprehend the message someone is trying to convey. By taking 51% responsibility, you ensure clearer communication and better outcomes.
2. Give your total attention. When someone is speaking, give them your undivided attention. If it’s not a good time to listen, be honest and arrange a better time. When you can listen, put down your work, silence your phone and take some notes if it will help you be better engaged. Stephen Covey’s advice, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood,” is priceless. Attentive listening not only increases your credibility but also earns you respect as a leader.
3. Ask engaging questions. Engage with the speaker by asking questions that show your curiosity and interest. Questions like “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What are your ideas for fixing this issue?” demonstrate that you are interested and that you desire to explore and comprehend what they have to say.
4. Paraphrase and clarify. Paraphrase back what people say to show that you’re listening and to ensure you understand. This helps accurately identify and then effectively solve problems. Avoid the embarrassment of having to admit later that you weren’t listening well.
5. Avoid listening traps. Listening traps often show up when interrupting speakers, being easily distracted by digital devices or the environment. They can result in prejudging what people are going to say and tuning out. One of the most common traps is daydreaming or mentally constructing what you want to say, which prevents attentiveness and accurate comprehension.
6. Value listening more. Place a higher value on listening. Some leaders overvalue their own opinions and dominate discussions. Others believe listening takes too much time. However, bad listening can lead to poor customer relations, weak employee communications and significant mistakes. Good listening, on the other hand, results in strong relationships and better business outcomes, making it a wise investment of your time.

Leaders know the difficulty of listening in today’s fast-paced workplace. We are bombarded by endless streams of information that compete for our attention and time. Every time you finish one conversation, you are pulled into another. Add to that the endless interruptions, phone calls and emails. However, this busyness doesn’t give anyone a “free pass” on cultivating and prioritizing better listening habits.

Commit to improving your listening skills and invest the time and resources necessary to help your team do the same. By doing so, you’ll enhance communication, strengthen relationships, and drive better business outcomes.

Mark Holmes is a consultant, professional speaker and author of “Selling to ELON! Understand, Communicate and Sell to Unique Personality Types,” and he’s president of Springfield-based Consultant Board Inc. and SalesRevenueCoach.com. He can be reached at mark@salesrevenuecoach.com.