Rusty Saber

by Joe McAdoo

Bits and pieces of this and that and other things ...

?Please understand that I'm not an "I told you so" sort of person. But just this once, I can't help myself: I told you so! The reason I'm lifting the embargo on I told you so is that in a recent column, I made some predictions for the new year; one actually happened exactly as I predicted. This is so unheard of that I can't help but give myself full credit for my brilliance!

I predicted that early in January the National Basketball Association owners and players would realize that most people were like me and didn't give a rip about professional basketball, and they would settle the strike. I proudly draw your attention to my prediction (drum roll, please!), made at a time when most experts were saying that the second half of the season would be canceled as was the first half.

At the very last minute, both sides figured out that, like I said they would, (another drum roll, please!) nobody cared; they settled the lockout or strike, whatever it was, on the day of the deadline for canceling the remainder of the season. I still don't care especially since Michael Jordan has announced his retirement but I am excited that a prediction of mine actually happened. I told you so!

?This "bit and piece" also relates to the world of sports. A sure sign that "A fool and his gold are soon parted," and that some people have way too much money at their disposal, is the recent sale of Mark McGwire's 70th home run baseball. The ball sold for $2.7 million.

The commission paid to the auction house by the buyer brought the total to $3.05 million. I find that hard to believe. As I write this, the name of the buyer, who bid by phone, remains a mystery. By the time this hits the streets, the name of the lucky high bidder may be known.

Originally, I jumped to the conclusion that the buyer was a man. I know it isn't politically correct to make this assumption and I certainly want to be politically correct but I like to think that no woman would be so foolish as to pay $3 million for a baseball, regardless of its importance. I believe that it was a man.

But I'll play the political correctness game: The person who bought the baseball proves that a fool and his/her gold are soon parted, and has too much money at his/her disposal. I wonder how much this person would pay for the original manuscript of this column. Shoot, I'd mark it up with personal editing marks and autograph it for a million or so. I'd do it for $10.

?As I write this, the People's Choice Awards have recently been given. This is a sort of made-up for television award. It isn't anything real, like the Academy Awards. The public selects categories of show business personalities and the like. Winners get their awards on national TV.

I watched a little of the program; it was something new to insult the intelligence of viewers rather than an intelligence-insulting situation comedy.

I don't know who casts votes. I have never met anyone who has voted. But I've never met anyone who has been surveyed in national political polls, the results of which are reported daily. Who are these people?

These voters selected Bill Cosby as the All-Time Favorite TV Performer. I'll grant that a case can be made for Cosby. I think a better one can be made for Lucille Ball, but I'll reluctantly go along with Cosby.

Get this, for All-Time Favorite Musical Performer, the People's Choice was (I'm not making this up, folks) Elton John. All-Time Musical Performer?!

Knock, knock. Is there anyone home at the People's Choice voters' houses? Elton John is a nice little guy with some talent. Hey voters, by any chance, does the name Frank Sinatra ring a bell with you? How about Sammy Davis Jr.? Ella Fitzgerald? Elvis Presley? Duke Ellington? John Lennon? Voters, do you have a pulse? I doubt it.

?To escape the perils of winter, my wife and I are off to Maui. I know, I know. It's tough duty, but somebody had to step forward and do it. In my absence, a couple of the best (or it may be worst) of the Rusty Saber will appear in this space. Readers, don't any of you slip on the ice while I'm away.

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury College and a Springfield public relations consultant.)

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