Workplace Calisthenics: 'Perfectionism' can lead to life misery

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Cal LeMon, of Executive Enrichment Inc., solves organizational problems with customized training and consulting. |ret||ret||tab|

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Are all of the pencils in your desk sharpened all of the time?|ret||ret||tab|

Do you find yourself spending an inordinate amount of time in an office supply mega store looking for just the right plastic desk-drawer organizer?|ret||ret||tab|

Are you regularly frustrated when you look at the top of a co-workers desk that reminds you of the Springfield Landfill?|ret||ret||tab|

Do you ever straighten up things on this same co-workers desk?|ret||ret||tab|

If your answer to any of those questions was yes, there is a possibility you are suffering from RSVP really sick viral perfectionism.|ret||ret||tab|

We laugh about perfectionism, but it is not funny. There are some of us who are miserable on the inside because life is not perfect and, therefore, not predictable. Perfectionists firmly believe that having everything in its place just makes getting up every day less scary.|ret||ret||tab|

So when the label on the shaving cream can is always turned facing us and the forks and spoons never commingle, we find a safe mental harbor that says, Im safe here.|ret||ret||tab|

If you are still in doubt as to whether perfectionism has claimed you, you may want to answer these five questions.|ret||ret||tab|

1 Am I quietly seething about something all the time? It is a good question because if the answer is yes you probably are suffering from trait anger.|ret||ret||tab|

Trait anger is resident rage that finds a home between our ears when we have been victimized in the past and never found a way to appropriately dump it. If the perfectionist cannot hone in on a place where it is all together at work or at home, they may become permanently furious.|ret||ret||tab|

2 Do I find most of the people in my life to be worthless and trying to get away with as much as possible? |ret||ret||tab|

When we look around and cannot find any role models, becoming a perfectionist can be the only choice. In other words, the only person we can depend on is I.|ret||ret||tab|

3 Do I do a lot of procrastinating? Procrastination is a game played by perfectionists. After all, you can never be wrong if you never take the initiative. It is always much easier to use delay as a way to blame the future on circumstances or other people.|ret||ret||tab|

4 Do I often say, My life is a mess.? That statement may be true for the evening of April 14 and a rainy Sunday afternoon when you retreated to wearing your pajamas all day and watching old Jimmy Stewart black-and-white movies on AMC.|ret||ret||tab|

But, if that is a handle you have anointed yourself with at work or home, you may be a perfectionist who regularly beats himself/herself up with thoughts of order that never match reality.|ret||ret||tab|

5 Am I getting more depressed the older I get?|ret||ret||tab|

Depression plus aging are biological facts of life. The depression Im talking about (endogenous) is different. It means the light has gone out on the inside of your psyche and hope has taken a hike. If there has been a quest for perfectionism all of your life and you have never savored it for any length of time, the older we get the more we extinguish hope because we are running out of time to get everything in its place.|ret||ret||tab|

So, if perfectionism has marked you, what can you do about RSVP?|ret||ret||tab|

Since Im on the list roll in this column, here are my three solutions.|ret||ret||tab|

1 Find a place in your life where you can be a slob. |ret||ret||tab|

The problem with perfectionism is it is illusionary. It does not exist. When you get all of your pencils sharpened to Buck Knife precision, your water heater will self-destruct. So the best any of us can hope for is to keep the messiness of our humanity corralled within some slob fence line. Try your garage, your car trunk or under your bathroom sink. They are great areas for chaos.|ret||ret||tab|

2 Ask yourself whether or not you would be this hot and bothered over the fact that your world is not perfect if you had six months to live. The people I have been around as they were dying had a very short to do list and no need to dust the mantel. |ret||ret||tab|

And, who among us has a guarantee of another six months?|ret||ret||tab|

3 This will cure perfectionism every time. Take a 2-year-old to Silver Dollar City on a bright, warm fall day. After you have been smeared with ice cream, nose-excretions and have to instantaneously formulate a plan for the dreaded need potty statement you will chill out.|ret||ret||tab|

Hey, throw away your RSVP.|ret||ret||tab|

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