Workplace Calisthenics: Covering your rear can lead to co-dependency

This column is about covering your workplace gluteus maximus, derriere, butt, hind end, posterior or whatever you want to call your most prominent physical asset which clears the door last each morning.

If you have not noticed, this part of your anatomy is the subject of at least 50 percent of most coffee break conversation. Come on, how many times have you heard, "cover your a**," and then there is, "he got his a** in a vice," and how about "up to his/her a** in alligators." Proctologists must be ecstatic!

Behind (sorry!) this popularity in the soft, often protruding, human tissue is a not-so-funny truth: a majority of us are not willing to take responsibility for ourselves. Anyone laughing?

We have been taught, from our first job, that CYA (have a coworker help you with this acronym) pays. If you "kiss up," "suck up," or "brown up," you will have a job tomorrow. It really is quite simple but pathetic.

Behind the CYA mentality is an invitation to full-blown co-dependency. It all begins like this.

You move into a job where it becomes clear there are people "above you." That positional expression is the kiss-of-death for any promising career. It sets up a prisoner of war mentality, which constantly seeks permission in order to function.

In this first stage, creativity, initiative and innovation are beginning to gasp for air. If the people above reinforce this jargon by becoming a veritable junta of heavy-handedness, the entire organization will begin to hear the death rattle of hope. Bodies will continue to show up for work, but the brains will be left at home. Hey, everyone reasons, why fight city hall?

We are on a slippery slope now. The second stage is called counter-dependency. This is the time when the gloves come off. Labor and management will begin to duke it out over the stupidest things ("Who took my good pen?"), there are threats, accusations and repeated thoughts of performing a full frontal lobotomy.

Counter-dependency is this scary space between our ears when anger makes a nest in our cranial cavity. People will begin walking around seething without knowing why. Conversations are lined with plans to "pay back." There is a tangible craziness that actually becomes acceptable.

The third stage is the worst. This is when the victimizer and the victim just keep showing up every day for no good reason. This is called co-dependency.

In other words, everyone is trapped. In a co-dependent relationship, both parties know the passion is pass, the wonder has wandered and the hope was just hype. It stinks. People stay because moving out is just too much work. We reason that at least the abuse is predictable. It is crazy, but the craziness becomes comfortable.

So, covering your a** is the survival skill of choice for the co-dependent employee.

If you are the employee, what can you do? Unless you are ready to hitch on an U-haul and relocate (and there are no guarantees with a new location) nothing! The "steerage level," in this economy, leaves few choices.

The responsibility for ending this adult version of "King Of The Mountain" rests squarely with senior management. If you are occupying the nosebleed box seats of your organization, let me suggest that you talk about "function," not "positions." Promotions should be determined as much on people skills as intellect. Begin to train your associates on what it means to act out "empowerment," and fire anyone in senior management who openly demeans anyone.

CYA is not a cute game of double-meanings for your protecting your rear end; rather, CYA is an organizational cancer, which ultimately will kill any company. Anyone laughing?

(Dr. Cal LeMon solves organizational problems with customized training and consulting. His company, The Executive Edge, can be contacted via the Business Journal at sbj@sbj.net.)