When in doubt, just ask the old guys

For a man, a crystal-clear rite of passage from middle age to old geezerdom is when he rises early and goes out to join other men for coffee. Most men who belong to “coffee klatches” are retired fellows whose internal clocks activate automatically when the sun aligns with the eastern horizon, a condition caused by years of rising early and going to work.

Since they can’t sleep, these fellows don their shabbiest clothes and then slip off to a local café for coffee, where they rehash the same lame jokes, baffling stories, juvenile insults, observations of a world-heading-downhill-fast and other subject matter with which they bored their women for decades, which is probably why their wives elect to sleep in.

The other reason these old dudes get together? Because they can. They’ve time to kill, plentiful time, because they’re not required to report for work. They did once and, if there’s one common denominator among them, they worked hard. Each built his own businesses so that when he sold out, he walked away reasonably well off, or as some might say, independently wealthy. That’s why they’re able to sit back and watch others, people like me, as we madly dash to the self-serve counter for our caffeine-to-go and our prefabricated breakfast rations, and then run out the door to join the rat race.

The more I hang out with these codgers, the more apparent it becomes that I, and perhaps, you, can learn something from them.

Besides, their advice about matters of business is totally free. They love for people to ask them what they think. Plus, there’s a whole bunch of them. Geezerville, USA, is gaining population every day.

Some of you are too young to remember when records were played on turntables and how they would get stuck so that a section of the song kept repeating over and over (my personal favorite was Lynyrd Skynyrd’s  “Gimme Three Steps Mister”). Visiting a coffee klatch of old dudes is a lot like hearing stuck records – the same ideas keep cropping up again and again. Since repetition is the “mother of learning,” there’s a slim chance you might gain a whiff of wisdom. In fact, I’m thinking of doing a succession of articles called “Ask the Geezers.” They’ve got opinions on virtually everything.

Who knows? Studying geezers might help you avoid making the same dumb mistakes previously made by members of the “older generation.” Then again, you might choose to disregard history, like our current administration does. It’s your call.

Here’s the first question I posed to the guys in the coffee klatch: “If you could travel back to the time when you ran your business, what one thing would you change?”

Most of them gave me instant answers, indicating that they’d already thought about the matter. Some of the gems of wisdom:

“I would’ve taken on more risk and expanded. I was too conservative, then. I see that, now.”

—As told by a former owner/operator of a successful auto service center.

“I’d be better off today if I hadn’t messed around with that nurse. A lot better off.”

—Retired surgeon.

“My mistake was undercharging for my product. We were always backed up, but I didn’t think I could charge more than my competitors charged. Now, I realize that I could have solved three problems with one solution: By increasing my fees I would’ve made more money, enjoyed more time off and created less staff turnover by paying them more. Fewer customers who pay more are better than having more customers who overtax your staff.”

—Retired manufacturer.

“Take more vacations; spend more time with your kids. I didn’t, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

—Retired restaurateur.

“I’d have taken lunch.”

—Retired newspaper lady.

“I would have made a bigger investment into better training for me and my staff. My competitor did more training. I now see how important it is.”

—Retired retailer.

The next time you wander into a café or convenience store and see all those worthless-looking old guys stuffed into the booths and tables, just remember a couple of things. Their combined wealth probably exceeds Bill Gates’ – and a few of them are smarter than you. Go over and ask them about something you don’t understand. They probably know the answer. I know it’s a weird idea. You just have to get past their appearance.

Bob May is former managing partner of five local radio properties and is now engaged in publishing large-print phone directories in about 50 small towns in southwest Missouri.[[In-content Ad]]