Travel Notes: Translations abroad cause misunderstandings

International travel is full of opportunities to expand your outlook and shrink the world, as you experience communications with different nationalities. The opportunity to have fun and find humor in many situations is abundant when you travel, especially when you add language interpretation in the mix.

Everyone finds delight in the British road signs that instruct you to "give way" instead of yield, and I won't soon forget the tour guide from Amsterdam who meticulously gave us her room number at each hotel. She assured every member of the group that if we needed anything at all to "Please come around and knock me up."

I recently came across an article that I had saved full of funny examples of communication attempts. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

On a menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order you summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation."

In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served."

In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday."

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: if you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Sign in a Tokyo hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not read notice."

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: "English well talking. Here speaching American."

On another note, it won't be long before the holidays are upon us. Many families are taking advantage of the fact that the cruise lines have a record number of berths available for sale, and are choosing to spend their Christmas budget on a family trip.

The first two weeks of December and the first week of January are generally dates where you can get very reasonable prices, if Christmas week and New Year's are not available.

Most major cruise lines have flexible dining plans, many have programs for children of all ages, and others cater mostly to adults. Some add a touch of elegance to your holidays; others are for active, casual people.

If this sounds like the way you would like to spend your holiday, don't delay. Call your travel agent, and have your shopping taken care of.

(Linda Strait is president of House of Travel Inc., a full-service travel agency in Springfield.)