Successfully Speaking: Stereotypes can interfere with clear communication

Located in Springfield, Jane Sanders has expertise in gender communication, presentation skills, meeting facilitation, and small business success.

Every one of us, to a certain extent, believes some of the old gender stereotypes, especially if stereotypes are viewed as innocent descriptions of general behavior tendencies.

Regardless of the significant progress in diversity issues being made throughout the work force, stereotypes of some sort will always exist.

The important thing to remember is that the simple presence of gender stereotypes is not the problem.

Difficulties occur when stereotypes are used, however subconsciously, to prejudge people's abilities and competence, and to develop unfair and incorrect expectations. When that happens, effective communications and productive relationships are jeopardized and thwarted.

When a staff member expresses frustration by crying in the office, do observers quietly doubt her competence on the job? When a management consultant interrupts his client several times during a phone call to discuss an upcoming project, is he automatically assumed to be rude and insensitive?

If a new marketing manager brought homemade cookies to the office, would others question her management and decision-making skills? Would some people wonder, at some level, if an outspoken, driven, aggressive sales director was a good and loving father to his two young children?

Take a minute to complete the worksheet at right.

Now, glancing over your responses, notice the number of M's, F's and B's. Most people get a good mix of all three. Looking at the list of descriptive terms, is there any one word that could not describe either sex? If not, then all the Ms and Fs you recorded indicate subtle and subconscious (and sometimes not so subconscious) stereotypical beliefs.

Keep in mind that simply believing that some of these descriptions are gender-based is not wrong or a "bad" thing to do. Stereotypes, particularly those related to gender, often develop from observed behavioral generalities.

Again, problems occur when stereotypes are used to prejudge abilities and competence and develop unfair and incorrect expectations.

For example, probably close to 100 percent of those completing this exercise indicated female for the descriptions of "emotional" and "nurturing," and male for the words "aggressive" and "competitive." Speaking in general terms, women usually are more emotional than men, at least from what others can see. And men usually are more outwardly competitive than women.

Again, the stereotypes are not the problem. However, if stereotypes are used to form opinions about other elements of a person's capabilities or behavior, then problems arise. Doing so is unfair; it is judgmental and assumptive.

Reviewing the list again, could it be describing one person? Could that person be either a man or a woman? Most people agree that the list could be describing a man or a woman. Actually, the list describes me, as viewed by my friends and business associates. There were many more adjectives than those included here.

What's the point?

Notice how many terms you checked that generally apply to your gender. We apply stereotypes to ourselves, too! The key point demonstrated by this exercise is this: just because a woman may be emotional, "too" sensitive (meaning more sensitive than the person judging her behavior; notice how the word "too" automatically implies judgment and wrongness?), nurturing and a good cook, does not preclude her from being decisive, competent, intelligent and driven, as well.

And just because a man might be decisive, intense, logical and independent does not mean that he is not also nurturing, sensitive and gentle in certain situations, and a good cook.

An employee may express emotion differently than her manager does, and that's fine. Her emotion does not necessarily translate to poor management abilities. The sales director certainly seems like a focused, driven, aggressive man. But chances are that he turns those hard-charging sales qualities off when he goes home to be with his children.

Stereotypes are neither reliable job performance indicators nor accurate descriptors of someone's complete personality. During communication, before responding to another's stereotypical behavior or comments, evaluate the clues available. Searching for the whole picture will enhance communication and result in a more objective, meaningful and productive outcome.