'Shallow Hal? confirms Farellys? lack of talent

"Shallow Hal"

Directed by: The Farrelly Bothers

Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, Jason Alexander

Rated: PG-13

I'm not a comedy snob, I'm really not. Lowbrow humor makes me laugh as loud as the next guy, but some stuff I just don't find funny. Outside of "Kingpin," I have loathed every film connected with Peter and Bobby Farrelly including their latest, "Shallow Hal."

The only way this could have been worse, and I'm really surprised it didn't happen, would be to have an ex-star of "Saturday Night Live" in the lead role. Jack Black, half of the rock band Tenacious D, was great in "High Fideli-ty"; Gwyneth Paltrow is a class act; and Jason Alexander can always be counted on to recycle his classic George Costanza character from "Seinfeld," but all talents are wasted on this trite piece of one-joke trash.

The premise of "Shallow Hal" couldn't even sustain a five-minute preview, and the film itself runs one hundred and thirteen excruciating minutes. It should be noted however that the audience hooted, hollered, clapped and cackled, so fans of the Farrellys will not be disappointed. I guess I just prefer something a little more subtle, you know, like The Three Stooges.

As "Shallow Hal" opens, Hal receives sage advice from his dying dad: Only date beautiful women and never fall in love. "That's the mistake I made with your mother." Damn, I'm proud to be a male.

Hal facilitates the paternal advice by hanging out in bars with Mauricio, a bad-hairpiece-wearing misogynist played by George Costanza, er, I mean Jason "George Costanza" Alexander.

After a close encounter with self-help guru Tony Robbins, Hal begins to only see what the Farrellys tell us is a wo-man's inner beauty. He falls for Rose-mary, a 300-pound gal who, to Hal's eyes, looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. The entire concept of this approach is flawed. Making an overweight person "appealing" by having her appear in the less-than-meaty persona of Gwyneth Paltrow, the message seems to be, yes, thin is in. If Hal was really seeing the inner beauty, weight would not be an issue.

The Farrellys run the gamut of fat jokes: Huge meals, a tilted canoe, even a chair collapses under Rosemary, much to the delight of the audience and to Hal's confusion.

The film progresses in every way you would suspect, coming to its inevitable conclusion. In the end, hopefully we've all learned a valuable lesson: Even fat people are worthy of love.

For me, though, the bigger lesson was, "Yes the Farrelly brothers are as awful as I remembered." These guys sell tickets, though, and I'm sure "Shallow Hal" will end up being in the top 10 money earners for 2001. Sad but true, trash-box-office treasure.

On the up side of things is the release of "The Godfather" films on DVD.

The four-disc set (you can get it for around $75 if you shop around) features all three "Godfather" films plus a fourth disc containing three hours of bonus material including a "Making Of" documentary, additional scenes, a Corleone Family Tree and storyboards.

The films themselves are outfitted with audio commentary tracks by director Francis Ford Coppola, and the prints are the cleanest ever seen.

This is truly a must-have for any film lover.

DVD players can now be had for less than $100, and if there was ever an ex-cuse to buy one, "The Godfather" box set is it.

(Jim Wunderle works at Associated Video Producers and is a Springfield free-lance writer and musician.)