SATIRE: America still leads world in manufacturing excuses

A report released by researchers at Rutgers University finds that America – famous for its citizens’ assembly of all sorts of justifications – still leads the world in manufacturing excuses, according to The Onion.

Americans remain unrivaled in their ability to churn out millions of excuses every day at a rate five times that of its closest international competitor, according to the study’s author.

People from the U.S. are highly productive when it comes to mass-producing rationalizations such as why they didn’t finish college, attend a party or were absent from work.

The report itself could have been better provided there were more time and resources available, according to The Onion.

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