Rusty Saber: Selfishness fuels people's motivations, actions

Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.

This column may make some readers mad. At least wait until you read it before yelling at me.

All of us are selfish. I know, being selfish is supposed to be a bad thing. The dictionary definition of selfish is "concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself." If we hurt others in order to help ourselves, that is bad; otherwise, its natural for selfishness to dictate our actions.

Have you ever heard someone say: "I didn't want to do it. I knew at the time it was bad for me, but I did it anyway"? Only someone missing a fuse or two in their master control box would say such a thing. Sane people ask, "What's in it for me?

We may not necessarily want to do it, and we won't if nothing is to be gained. Few of us want to get out of bed when the alarm goes off. Pleasing ourselves and sleeping an extra hour might be good, but in light of the ill effects of not doing that which caused us to set the alarm, we get up.

We may not want to go to work, but for selfish reasons, it stands head and shoulders above standing in line at the unemployment office. For equally selfish reasons, the person who doesn't mind unemployment will stay home.

The mugger who sticks a gun in the face of a person, and says, "Your money or your life," selfishly hopes the person's choice is life. Should the choice be money, it will be up to the mugger to decide if it would be better for him to shoot or get the heck out of there. Either way, it's selfish.

As you read this, I can hear you thinking (not an easy thing to do, by the way) about giving money to charitable organizations. You may be thinking that you would rather donate the money to yourself, which is the "selfish" we all know. But donating money can be selfish, too. Giving makes us feel good. If we believe certain causes are worthy, we give what we can afford, and bask in the glow of goodwill.

Some may give because they want to please others who also support the group. How many times have you made a donation based on how you feel about the one who asked for it?

Of course, getting a tax write-off may persuade some to give charitable gifts. No one gives unless there is something in it for them.

There may be a hundred things we would rather do than exercise, but most of us do it because it's good for us or it makes us look better. We may not want to visit uncle Ralph, but we do because family unity may be more important than staying at home. We may visit him to assuage guilty feelings. We do it even if we don't want to.

Advertisers know about selfish motivation. Consumers don't buy to be benefactors of businesses, they buy to satisfy.

One toothpaste is about as good as another. Marketing people stay up at night to find ways to stimulate us to buy toothpaste. The ad claim may be that Scrubo will clean teeth so well that your smile will light up a room. Of course, the user will be more attractive to the opposite sex. Scrubo might promise good breath, hence attractive to the opposite sex. Use a competitor's brand, and the breath will stop a charging bull in its tracks.

Some people pay two or three times more for a product because of the fancy label. For some, the prestige justifies overpayment.

We live our lives acting out of guilt, pride, prestige, lust, desire for acceptance, reputation and goodwill. "What's in it for me?" is a natural question. Selfishness, like the acts it prompts, can be good or bad, or something in between.

I hope you aren't going to yell. I want my readers to agree with me. It's a selfish thing.