Rusty Saber: Obsession is ocelot aphrodisiac

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Animal lover that I am, I took note of a news article. Until I read it, I knew little about the ocelot, a tough little feral cat about twice the size of a house cat. The ocelot ranges from coastal Texas to Argentina, but it's on a course to become extinct. The small cat apparently is one of the few animals of its kind that will defend its territory against much larger enemies; it will fight to the death to defend home and family. Unfortunately, the ocelot won't back down from any enemy, including its most potent enemy: the automobile.|ret||ret||tab|

Ocelots have found that going nose-to-grill with cars has been a losing proposition. Cars have become the chief predator of the ocelot; only about 100 of them are believed to be living in the United States, most in southern Texas. Scientists bent on saving the species wanted to attract ocelots in order to count, tag, and track their movements.|ret||ret||tab|

It may say something about the scientists' notion about ocelots that in an effort to attract the little critters, scientists used rat snake musk, rat and fox urine and bobcat feces as bait. Ocelots weren't attracted by any of these baits. Quite by accident, a research technician at the Dallas Zoo found something that did attract ocelots when this other gross smelling stuff didn't. The technician was wearing her boyfriend's Calvin Klein's Obsession for Men; a zoo ocelot began to amorously rub up against her, trying to absorb the scent. Something in Obsession turned on this and other ocelots. As yet, no other colognes or perfumes, or anything else, have attracted ocelots.|ret||ret||tab|

When informed of the attraction, a Calvin Klein representative said: "Obsession is a scent that is unique and intensely provocative on people. It must be for ocelots as well." |ret||ret||tab|

For what I am about to do, I apologize, but I just can't resist. Just thinking about future Calvin Klein TV ads boggles my mind: "Hey there, guys! Has the woman in your life turned up her nose at the scents you have been using? Now you can be like the ocelots, which turned up their noses at fox urine and bobcat feces, but turned on to Obsession for Men! Yes, the ocelot got rid of snake musk and rat urine and got Obsession for Men. Pour it on, and the ladies will do whatever it takes to absorb the scent. To attract ocelots or girls, get Obsession, today. Please, watch out for those cars on the highway." Other ads come to mind, but I don't believe I'll push the envelope any further.|ret||ret||tab|

Another interesting piece of news is a follow up to a fairly well-publicized event about a year ago when, after falling out of a canoe, a foul-mouthed Michigan man spewed out a barrage of vile language the likes of which isn't likely to be heard in public, except at a George Carlin concert. The canoeist was convicted of using profanity in the presence of women and children, a misdemeanor. The case got national news coverage because it isn't often in today's politically correct society foul-mouthed boorish behavior is punished. Now another Michiganer has been arrested for having a similar foul mouth in front of women and children. In Harrison, Mich., Steven Clevenger was the culprit. I want you to know that I'm not making this up. Clevenger began cursing a blue streak when he was fired, yes fired, as the women's' high school volleyball coach. We don't know what caused him to be fired, but he was. This clown went into his filthy-mouth routine in front of his players and the school principal, which was a woman. He had lots of children and a woman around for an audience. |ret||ret||tab|

It may not be against the law in Michigan to be stupid, but in this particular case, it's a misdemeanor.|ret||ret||tab|

On the subject of schools, in Maple Valley, Wash., construction workers at the local high school managed to foul up the silent alarm on the school's security system. For a week, the alarm sounded erratically. The security company dutifully called the school security officer each time, but he would ignore it. One night the security company called to warn that the silent alarm had sounded. The guard ignored it, assuming it to be another pesky erroneous alert. Burglars broke into the computer lab and made off with hard drives and memory chips from 30 computers.|ret||ret||tab|

It's true: Truth is stranger and funnier than fiction.|ret||ret||tab|

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University and a Springfield public relations consultant.)[[In-content Ad]]