Rusty Saber: 'No more election columns, I promise'

So much for promises. After last week's tirade against the Florida presidential ballot counting debacle, otherwise known as the political version of the "Gunfight at the OK Corral," I looked myself in the eye not an easy thing to do and promised that I would not write another word about it.

My intentions were honorable, but I can't help myself. I'm hereby breaking my promise. Last week's column was written not knowing who won. This week, I've extended my deadline to the max and I still don't know. Here are some random thoughts about what will surely be the biggest, if not the most bizarre, news story of the year, perhaps the decade.

Many years ago, the presidential candidate who carried Maine always won the election, which led to the expression "as Maine goes so goes the nation." However, in the presidential election of 1936 the Republican candidate, Alf Landon, carried only Maine and Vermont; Franklin D. Roosevelt swept all the rest. The expression was altered to the tongue-in-cheek "as Maine goes so goes Vermont." I wouldn't be surprised if the present Florida catastrophe leads to an ultramodern expression: "as Florida goes so goes the nation, assuming Florida knows how Florida goes."

It may be a long time before we forget the voters who couldn't follow the arrow on the ballot leading to the name of the candidate of their choice. I think these voters will be remembered for a long time. Since the O.J. Simpson murder case, something simple was described as "so simple that even the O.J. Simpson jury can understand it."

It's likely that another saying will join the lexicon where, in describing something simple, people will say it is "so simple that even a Palm Beach County, Fla., voter can understand it."

To me, it is surreal that the election of the most powerful leader in the world is in the hands of a bunch of lawyers spewing out billable hours faster than an army of accountants can keep track of. The lawyers are bad enough, but not nearly as bad as the image of vote counters determining our next president by holding up ballots, looking for holes and seeking out "hanging chads and dimples." That could be the name of a teenage guy rock band with a girl singer.

When we know for certain who the president is, assuming Dan Rather hasn't told us that it was a mistake, there will probably be a drive to do away with the Electoral College. Yes, I know that one candidate might win the popular and another the Electoral College vote. Before getting caught up in this crusade, try to visualize the post-election turmoil with no Electoral College and a popular vote this close.

The vote counting and recounting scenario played out in Florida would be played in every precinct in all of the 50 states. The framers of the Constitution may have known what they were doing when they created the Electoral College. We need to think long and hard before we get behind a constitutional amendment to abolish it.

Just about every pundit practicing punditry (I think I made up a new word) agrees that the closeness of this election will make it difficult for either Gov. Bush or Vice President Gore to govern effectively. It is true that nearly half of the people will have voted against the president. However, the winner will have taken nearly 50 percent of the popular vote. Compare this to 1992 and 1996, when, due to the candidacy of Ross Perot, President Clinton received only 42 percent of the popular vote in 1992 and 43 percent in 1996. Clinton received far fewer votes than either of the 2000 candidates. Being a minority president didn't hamper Clinton's ability to govern. Whatever problems he encountered were of his own making.

When this mess finally ends, what will the television networks and 24-hour cable news organizations do? They have covered every nuance of the story, regardless of its importance. They have interviewed every lawyer, politician and pundit, regardless of how little they had to offer. If it doesn't end soon, Larry King will have to interview Peter Jennings.

Surely the continuing saga of the eternal election will soon end. The media will have to find other stories upon which to swarm. I will not write another word about it. I promise!

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University and a Springfield public relations consultant.)