Rusty Saber marks 19th birthday ? from Maui

It boggles the mind; I simply can't believe it. It must be true: Time flies when you are having fun.

This week marks the Rusty Saber's 19th birthday. Can that be true? Sure it is; it was Jan-uary 1983 when Rusty first made an appearance in what was then TOPS Executive Jour-nal, long since the more appropriately named Springfield Bus-iness Journal.

Then I was a gainfully em-ployed college professor. Now I am a retired old duffer. I surely had no notion that 19 years later, Rusty would still be alive and kicking.

Readers have asked me if I'm aware that I speak of Rusty Sa-ber as a real person. Of course I do. Rusty has been my persona for 19 years: We go everywhere together. We think alike; we even look alike, except Rusty is much younger. Rusty is the same age I was when I joined the Navy, which is why Rusty shares my admiration for the nation's military veterans. Oh, I almost forgot. Rusty is the better writer.

During these 19 years, the Rusty Saber hasn't always spoken in glowing terms about the outward expansion of Spring-field, which has led to the bulldozing of trees and pristine countryside to make room for new housing, businesses and the acres of asphalt necessary for parking lots to serve an ever- growing population.

Alas, there is no standing in the way of progress. Progress almost always wipes out trees and idyllic pasturelands. Sorry about that.

Since this column inhaled its first breath, Springfield has made the ongoing transition from town to city; not a big city, yet, but it hasn't reached its full growth potential, either. The transition hasn't been without a few rough spots, but all things considered, our corner of the world has aged well.

It has become a tradition for my wife and I to celebrate Rus-ty's birthday by spending a while on Maui, my favorite spot in the entire world ... with the exception of the Ozarks, of course. I know, I know. It's tough duty, but someone has to do it. I stepped forward and an-swered the call. You know what they say, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." That's me.

By the time this is read, my wife, grandson and I will be on Maui; however, Rusty Saber will remain here more about that later. This will be my first time to fly since Sept. 11, and I have yet to experience the heightened airline security. I know that baggage is now being hand searched, but I'm unsure how I will go through the security check.

You see, I have a Vice Pres-ident Dick Cheney-model surgically implanted defibrillator (actually, I had mine first; his must be the Rusty Saber mo-del). My "machine" is a marvelous piece of technology, but it doesn't tolerate metal detectors and magnetic wands. I don't want to mess up the airport's security system, nor do I want them to deprogram me.

I assume security has been intensified even more after that dipstick Richard Reid boarded a flight from Paris to Miami wearing bombs in his shoes, bombs powerful enough to blow a hole in the airplane. When this clown tried to light the fuse, the flight attendants and some passengers saved the day and subdued him.

Oh my, I do hope that his civil rights weren't violated. It's heartening to hear his mother declare that he is innocent. In-nocent! Of course, what could possibly be wrong with trying to set his shoes on fire on a crowded airliner, even if the shoes were bombs?

But I digress; I'm confident that security will successfully screen out Richard Reid-like nincompoops looking to climb out of the sewer where they be-long to blow up an airliner.

On my past forays to Maui, to fill this space the SBJ editor has either selected excerpts from my book, "McAdoo About No-thing" or reruns of past col-umns. On one trip, I took Rusty with me, faxing columns back from paradise. But that required THINKING, an activity I hold to an absolute minimum while on vacation.

This time, various SBJ staff members will be guest columnists. Each week one of the these fine journalists will take pen in hand in an effort to imbue Rusty with a touch of class. Until then, Aloha!

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury Un-iversity.)