Rusty Saber: Elvis sightings, handy SUVs make New Year wish list

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Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.|ret||ret||tab|

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Standing at the threshold of the New Year, the Rusty Saber ponders the last column of 2003. At such a time as this, a columnist can look back at events of the year just past, or to the year ahead. My choice is the latter. Gazing into the future, I have New Year wishes for some folks.|ret||ret||tab|

To Sen. Trent Lott: A wire mesh mouthpiece to keep his foot out of his mouth. Should that fail, a lobotomy to keep him from uttering any more incredibly dumb public statements. |ret||ret||tab|

His Republican Senate colleagues might wish for stronger methods; I will leave that to them.|ret||ret||tab|

A fervent wish that all politicians would, as if by magic, become aware that the definition of bipartisanship is not "do it the way our party wants it done."|ret||ret||tab|

Assuming Osama bin Laden is still alive, I wish he would see that the proper thing for him to do would be to come out of hiding. |ret||ret||tab|

Since he was "brave" enough to ask his followers to hijack airliners loaded with innocent passengers and fly them into crowded buildings, he should be brave enough to show himself. If he were to come out of hiding, it would certainly fulfill the wish I have for President Bush.|ret||ret||tab|

To Saddam Hussein: An ongoing vacation from his governing duties. To the people of Iraq, a Saddam-free future, and that both wishes can be accomplished without war. |ret||ret||tab|

To the nation's merchants: a fond hope that the Christmas shopping season was profitable, giving the economy a much-needed shot in the arm.|ret||ret||tab|

To the stock market: I wish for lots and lots of positive news events to stimulate investors to drive up the market. About all it seems to take to cause the market go up is a reported Elvis sighting. Alas, the next day, it is reported that the sighting was a mistake: Elvis has left the building, he is still dead; the bottom drops out of the market. |ret||ret||tab|

That may be a bit of an overstatement, but it doesn't seem to take much to drive the market up or down. |ret||ret||tab|

I don't know what it takes to cause the stock market to go up, but I wish for lots of it, and none of whatever that causes the market to go down. Think only good thoughts, investors, the economy needs a kick start. |ret||ret||tab|

My wish to those who outwardly proclaim hatred for sport utility vehicles is that their Yugos get stuck in snow and have to be pulled out by SUVs.|ret||ret||tab|

Really big New Year wishes to all involved with the renovation of downtown. |ret||ret||tab|

The Jordan Valley Park is beginning to take shape. Eclectic restaurants, live entertainment nightspots, theater attractions and shopping are in place. Hopefully, everything will come together, allowing Springfield to become an attractive tourist destination.|ret||ret||tab|

I wish for the people of Springfield and Greene County to have an appreciation of how well we are governed. From time to time we may not agree with all actions of Springfield City Council and Greene County Commission, but I believe they strive to do what they believe to be in the best interest of the city and county. Mostly, I believe they end up doing the right things.|ret||ret||tab|

Good wishes go to the churches and organizations that do everything possible to serve the needy and to enhance the quality of life of everyone. These folks need more than good wishes. They need all of us to support them with our dollars and time.|ret||ret||tab|

I have saved my most fond wishes for the end. Rusty Saber readers, as 2003 approaches, to each and every one of you, I wish you a Happy New Year.|ret||ret||tab|

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