Rusty Saber: Election wrangling gives way to lighter issues

There are so many serious issues: election-year wrangling, war, terrorism, economic ups and downs, crime, and street and family violence are a few of our concerns.

Then there are minor glitches that pop up in our lives that may perplex us. I will leave it to others to ponticate on the arduous issues; I will take on some of the minor ones.

Young whippersnappers who still have eyesight that allows them to spot a gnat in full ight across a crowded room probably can't be expected to relate to the dilemma posed by misplacing one's glasses.

For more than half of my life, I was blessed with perfect vision; I surely wouldn't have recognized the lost glasses challenge. Wearers of glasses understand that you need your glasses in order to nd them. In my case, I put them someplace, then a senior moment overtakes me; I can't remember where I put them. My imperfect memory leads to the conundrum of wishing I was wearing my glasses so I could nd them.

Families with children probably appreciate childproof containers. You certainly wouldn't want medicine bottles or anything containing toxic materials to be accessible to children, as they would be if the containers could be easily opened.

If you have ever become so exasperated with a childproof bottle that you have taken a hammer to it, you know that childproof containers can at times be adult-proof. But what about households with no children? Having joined the demographic group that checks the "No children in the home'' box on questionnaires, I no longer need to be protected by pushing down or squeezing in on the cap while turning, nor do I need to line up the arrows on the lid and bottle, pushing up until the skin on my thumb is raw. Childproong is probably here to stay.

Unlike smoking vs. nonsmoking restaurants, there is no category of childproof vs. nonchildproof speciality stores. To be on the safe side, we must assume that children could lay hands on any item, and thus just keep on squeezing while turning. Even though children may not be around, try to watch your language as you wipe out your thumb on the top of the medicine bottle.

Mark my words, the day will come when a clever political candidate will run on a platform that promises to mandate certain uniformities. A candidate might just be elected with a pledge to require uniformity in how credit card machines work at checkout lanes and gas pumps.

The promise that, wherever or whenever I use my card, the card would go in the slot in the same way every time might just get my vote. Automobile designers probably have reasons for a lack of uniformity in some areas, but I can't gure out what they are.

For instance, my family owns two cars.

On one, the gas tank is on the driver's side of the car; the other is on the passenger side. Why, in the name of Henry Ford, can't all gas tanks be on the same side?

If they were uniform, the most convenient placement would be on the driver's side.

If so, you and I could perpetually pull up to the pump on the gas tank side, step outside and ll the car without having to walk to the other side.

This convenience, and the peace and tranquility afforded by knowing exactly how to insert the credit card, might be a voting issue.

From time to time, people drive more than one car. To delight drivers, why not design windshield wipers that operate the same on all cars? Ditto the operation of the lights, turn signals, the heating and cooling system, and the radio. If you have ever driven a strange car, especially at night or in a rainstorm, you know the agony of trying to gure out how these things work.

Like gas tank placement, the workings of gadgets clustered in front of the driver should all operate in the same way.

Pay attention, politicians: The contents of this column could get you elected.

Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.