Rusty Saber: Communication between men, women requires interpreter

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It isn't as though I am a card-carrying, certified authority on the subject of interpreting communication between women and men. But on my last birthday, if my birthday cake had candles on it, not only would my smoke detectors have been set off, but our neighbors' would have as well. Let's just say I have accrued LOTS of first-hand experiences.|ret||ret||tab|

The secret of learning to fathom communication between the sexes is to begin with the assumption that when talking to each other, neither says what they mean. As a public service, the Rusty Saber presents "What They Say versus What They Mean."|ret||ret||tab|

WOMEN SAY |ret||ret||tab|

"We should ..."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Do what you think is best." |ret||ret||tab|

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"We need to talk."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Don't be silly, I'm not upset." |ret||ret||tab|

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"Our furniture is so outdated."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I hate this kitchen.'' |ret||ret||tab|

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"Do you love me?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"How much do you love me?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"Are my legs getting fat?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"We need to communicate with each other more."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Does this dress make me look fat?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"Do you like this recipe?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"I'm just going out with the girls."|ret||ret||tab|

WOMEN MEAN |ret||ret||tab|

"I want..."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Then, we'll do it my way."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I'll talk, you listen." |ret||ret||tab|

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"Of course I'm upset!"|ret||ret||tab|

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"By the end of the week, I want new furniture."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Call the Realtor." |ret||ret||tab|

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"I bought something very expensive."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I wrecked the car."|ret||ret||tab|

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I want a compliment."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Agree with me more."|ret||ret||tab|

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"Be very careful stutter even a little bit, and I gotcha." |ret||ret||tab|

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"Better get used to it; I know how to make it." |ret||ret||tab|

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"We'll make fun of our husbands, including you."|ret||ret||tab|

MEN SAY |ret||ret||tab|

"Do you really want to go to a movie?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"What's wrong now, sweetheart?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"Can I help with dinner?" |ret||ret||tab|

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"Of course I was listening?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"Nothing. I got you these roses because I love you."|ret||ret||tab|

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"That dress looks great on you."|ret||ret||tab|

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"It's a guy thing."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I am not lost. I know where we are."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I can't find it."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I hear it's a great movie."|ret||ret||tab|

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"You know how bad my memory is."|ret||ret||tab|

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MEN MEAN |ret||ret||tab|

"I hope not; the Chiefs' game is on TV." |ret||ret||tab|

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"Please don't tell me what I've done wrong this time." |ret||ret||tab|

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"I'm hungry." |ret||ret||tab|

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"What did she say?"|ret||ret||tab|

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"I hope this gets me off the hook." |ret||ret||tab|

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"It's the 20th dress you've tried on. No more!" |ret||ret||tab|

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"It makes no sense to anyone but me."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I'm lost I'll never admit it. It's a guy thing."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I didn't stumble over it, so it must be lost."|ret||ret||tab|

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"It has lots of violence and sex."|ret||ret||tab|

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"I can remember Mickey Mantle's 1959 batting average, but I forgot your birthday."|ret||ret||tab|

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