Rusty Saber: Clean limerick contest open to all

The clamor was intense. How intense was the clamor?

Well, let's see. One reader asked me when the Rusty Saber Sort-of-Annual Limerick contest would be held. Another reader asked the same question of the SBJ editor.

Adding to the clamor has been me, asking me when I was going to announce the contest. (I ask myself a lot of questions, but seldom do I receive sensible answers.) Hey, I don't know about you, but that's enough clamor for me. Let the contest begin!

In case you are a new Rusty Saber reader or you weren't paying attention during past contests, I can tell you the contest is perhaps the premier cultural event of the year. It's called "sort-of annual" because it isn't necessarily held every 12 months; rather, it's held when I think of it.

Like most sensible people, you may be asking yourself why you should do anything so crass as enter a limerick contest. (If you talk to yourself a lot, you may need to seek professional counseling. However, a little chat once in a while is good for the soul.) When you enter the limerick contest you will unleash your creativity on unsuspecting Rusty Saber readers.

Think about it, those people who have written you off as a clod will see your name listed among the limerick winners, and they will see you for the sensitive, creative poet that you are. Should you be a winner, you will become a published poet, meaning you can thumb your nose at those clods who think you're a clod.

That's right boys and girls, you, too, can become a published poet! Pay attention, and learn how. As you probably know, a limerick is a five-line poem; lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme, as do lines 3 and 4. In order for a limerick to work, it must have a lilt to it that is created by the very short verses making up the rhyme-scheme. Here is an old limerick, author unknown, that demonstrates what I'm talking about:

A limerick packs laughs astronomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I've seen,

So seldom are clean,

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Note that the lilt comes because the verbiage is limited. Lines 3 and 4 are even shorter than the other three. If any of the lines are too long, the rhyme-scheme is lost.

Before this deteriorates heaven forbid into a classroom lecture, I must add that only clean limericks will be eligible for publication.

I know, I know. Off-color limericks may seem funnier than clean ones. This contest encourages contestants to write humorous, yet clean, limericks, which calls for creativity. You can do it! As in previous contests, I, the Bard of the Finley River, have written a couple of original limericks so contestants have models to follow:

Your limerick may be peachy-keen,

The best anyone has ever seen.

It may bring a big grin,

But if you want to win,

You must keep it "sort of" clean.

The next original limerick demonstrates that "sort-of" clean limericks aren't necessarily prudish:

Godiva, a lady so fair

Went riding altogether bare;

The men said it was crude

To ride around in the nude,

But as she passed by they gave her a stare.

Are you ready for some limericks? Get them written and entered. You may enter as many limericks as you like. If you have entered past contests, do it again. If you've never entered, why not? Do it now!

Entries must be received by pay attention Monday, April 17. Send entries to:

Rusty Limericks

Springfield Business Journal

PO Box 1365 Springfield, Mo. 65801

fax them to 831-5478 or e-mail them to sbj@sbj.net.

Get those creative juices flowing. You might just become a published poet. Won't that look great on your rsum?

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University and a Springfield public relations consultant.)