Rusty Saber: Choosy bears choose doughnuts, say no to tofu

Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.

Food has been in the news lately.

A black bear was running loose in the area recently. The critter was seen foraging for food in neighborhoods, a serious situation for anyone coming between the bear and food. He had been spotted on highways, hence the fear that a car might find the bear in its headlights, causing a bad night for the bear, car and driver.

Apparently, the bear was found sleeping in a tree. While it snoozed, conservationists baited a trap. Foods they believed to be "bear fare" vegetables, fruits and doughnuts were left inside to entice him into the cage. Guess what? The bear bypassed the healthy bait, going for the doughnuts. As he munched away, the cage door closed.

That the bear chose doughnuts over fruits and veggies must have been bad news to health-food advocates, and good news to junk-food eaters. Could there be a genetic hankering for doughnuts within both humans and beast? I wonder.

How about this for a doughnut commercial: "Discriminating bears and people just naturally crave doughnuts! Get yours today before a bear beats you to them!"

Another food story that, for reasons hard to grasp, was considered significant enough to be reported as news, was an international hot dog eating contest at Coney Island, N.Y. Mind you, it was not some county fair contest; it drew hot-dog stuffers from around the world. A Japanese contestant won this year and last. The first I heard of this "tasteful" event was a pre-contest story on the radio indicating that a winner doesn't necessarily need to be a 400-pounder worthy of having "Goodyear" painted on his stomach. Small people seem to do better. Amazing!

Proof that the Apocalypse may be near is that coverage of the contest actually appeared on TV, and a reporter assigned to cover this as a sporting event was interviewed on ESPN Radio.

Believe me, the man I saw on TV stuffing one hot dog after another into his mouth, with pieces of food dribbling out of both sides of his mouth, would have been exiled from my mother's table until he learned better manners!

The radio interview was somewhat tongue-in-cheek; however, no one asked the reporter, "What terrible thing did you do that caused your editor to assign you this feeble-minded story?"

The hot news reported was about the scandal that the champion may have had his stomach surgically altered, thereby, allowing him to pig out on even more hot dogs. Can a Congressional investigation be far behind? Contestants were weighed before and after the contest. The winner gained 12 pounds. That's a lot of hot dogs.

The next story indicates that tofu, another meatless food, is a fast-growing trend.

Numerous publications have reported on newly proclaimed vegetarians, who eat no meat, and vegans, who eat nothing at all from animals, including eggs, milk products and even honey.

Some have adopted these diets in response to the current publicity over America's passion for junk food. They believe meatless meals lead to a healthier lifestyle. Others do it out of concern for the treatment and slaughtering of animals; some do it for both reasons. These are legitimate motives. If this isn't just a trendy fad that will be cast aside as the next fashionable whimsy comes along, then more power to them.

Apparently, barbecued tofu riblets, with lot of barbecue sauce, are a favorite. So, too, is the veggie burger, with all the essential condiments added to make it an acceptable replica of a hamburger sans grease. I've tried them, and they are pretty good, too. Healthy eating is a worthy trend, indeed. However, I'm with the bear. Bring on the doughnuts!