Rusty Saber: 21st Century's sun sets on Olds, Ward's

Is nothing sacred? First it was the typewriter that became obsolete. Come to think about it, this wasn't such a bad thing. Then, technology made phonograph records obsolete, which, to me, was not such a good thing.

But I am standing my ground; I still play my 33 1/3 albums on a stereo system using a turntable; and I love doing it. I'm worried about replacing the needle when it wears out; phonograph needles may be as hard to find as buggy whips. I'm not a hopelessly outdated simian living in the past; I wouldn't trade my laptop computer for any typewriter.

But this time they have gone too far. Who are they? I'll tell you who they are. Daimler Chrysler! They pulled the plug on the Plymouth, a Chrysler product; it no longer exists! Chrysler is an old-line American automobile company that was absorbed by Daimler. They make Mercedes-Benz automobiles. What business do they have trash-canning an icon of the American road?

Back before corporate mergers, common people who couldn't afford Cadillacs, Lincolns and Chryslers, drove Chevrolets, Fords or Plymouths. When I was growing up, my parents drove a Plymouth. And now some guy named Dieter Zetsche, president of the Chrysler portion of Daimler Chrysler, says Plymouth is a goner. Boo, Dieter, I say, boo!

If they can do away with Plymouth, what's next, Oldsmobile? As a matter of fact they, a.k.a. General Motors, announced plans to do just that, a message that must have made Oldsmobile dealers jump with joy. If Plymouth is an icon of the road, Oldsmobile is a deity. I mean, Oldsmobile goes back to the very beginning of the history of the automobile.

Plymouth was named after a rock; Olds was a person, a pioneer of the auto industry. The name Olds is older than General Motors. During its heyday, Oldsmobile was the smooth, comfortable-riding highway car for folks who had made it but weren't ready for a Cadillac. Is this any way to begin the 21st century, by chucking a brand name that bridged all of the 20th? I say no!

Should dealers of other Chrysler and GM cars be a bit shaky? If Plymouth can vanish in the black hole of international corporate hocus-pocus, and the General can wake up one morning and ditch Oldsmobile, who knows what might be next?

Plymouth and Oldsmobile are big names fading from history (unless GM changes its corporate mind and rescues Oldsmobile) they are no more a part of Americana than Montgomery Ward, which goes back 125 years. As you know, they in this case General Electric, the overseer of Ward's announced just before Christmas (Merry Christmas, Ward's employees) that the venerable old company was to fade into history.

Sears and Roebuck, JC Penney and Montgomery Ward collectively are as much a part of 20th century America as apple pie and the Boy Scouts. Montgomery Ward follows Woolworth's, another historical retail giant unable to compete in the modern business environment. I can't imagine America without "Monkey Ward," a name used by many old- timers; I never understood where "monkey" came from, but if you remember it, you may be getting older than you want to admit.

According to the experts, Ward's couldn't compete with Wal-Mart, Kmart, Target and the rest of today's big guys. Once a giant of catalog, as well as in-store, sales, Ward's apparently couldn't position itself in today's complex market.

Ward's isn't the first giant corporation to lose favor with the buying public; it won't be the last. When Montgomery Ward stores have all gone dark, a big chunk will have been chiseled away from the history of America. It will be a relic that I will miss.

Speaking of relics, the Rusty Saber is 18 years old this week. Born in January 1983, the Saber is old enough to vote. January is not only the anniversary of this column, it is the month when my wife and I perform our annual patriotic duty by spending a month in Maui. Somebody has to do it; we saw our duty and we did it.

I am off to molt, to shed my winter coat. I hope I won't need to grow another winter coat when I return in a month to climate that is a lot kinder and gentler.

I guess I can't be expected to write and molt at the same time. While in Maui, some recent Rusty Saber rantings will be rerun.

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University and a Springfield public relations consultant.)