Rusty Saber

by Joe McAdoo

It never ceases to amaze me. Readers draw such different conclusions after reading the same thing. Throughout the nearly 16 years I have been writing this column, I have been accused of being too conservative and too liberal. I suppose there's an answer to this riddle, but I don't know what it is.

Equally confusing are these opposing conclusions reached by Rusty Saber readers: I've been called an old grouch, finding fault with everything. And, I've been called too positive, a sort of cheerleader for the things I like. "Don't you like anything?" some ask. Others ask, "Do you ever comment on anything you don't like?"

I suppose it's possible that these people don't read every Rusty Saber column, and they just happen to read ones that sound conservative or liberal too negative or positive for their tastes. Another good reason to read every issue of SBJ.

I don't know about the conservative-liberal label, but I do know that when I'm grouchy, it's because I'm writing about something that I should be grouchy about. The same applies for my cheerleader persona when something is good enough to deserve a cheerleader.

In answer to the question of what I like and dislike, read the rest of this column.

I like good jazz music. Listening to the free-wheeling, creative, innovative styles of great jazz musicians is a treat that massages my ears. Truth be told, I can abide any music, regardless of kind, as long as it is performed by talented musicians and singers.

Oops, there's one exception to this rule: The world's most talented accordion player won't be found in my Like Category. In fact, to me, accordion music is an oxymoron. Otherwise, bad music of any kind, including jazz, performed by no-talent clods lands in my Dislike Category.

Considering my musical tastes, it stands to reason that I like people who are creative and talented. I like these sorts because they are interesting people to be around.

I don't believe such people necessarily need be musicians, artists or poets. It isn't how people earn their livings that makes them interesting, it's how they think and act that attracts me to them. I can think of no close friends who are not creative.

I suppose the dislike side is obvious. Rather than call it dislike, let's say that I prefer to avoid people with little or no interest in creative pursuits. I hope I said that in such a way that it's politically correct. After all, political correctness is a goal for which I constantly strive. (Regular Rusty Saber readers know that's not true.)

I like British sports cars. I'm talking about 1950s and '60s models. Back then, the English remembered how to build fine sports cars. For some reason, after the '60s, they forgot how to do it. I salivate when I see a vintage Jaguar or Triumph. But the mere thought of the full size Austin-Healey sports machine (not the tiny Austin-Healey Sprite) brings tears of joy to my eyes, and I don't just salivate, I drool!

Recently, I saw a man driving a fully restored Austin-Healey. I confess to having such lust in my heart that I allowed myself to ponder what might happen to me if I were to hit him over the head and take his car. Since that's called car-jacking, and carries a heavy penalty, I restrained myself. I just stood and drooled.

On the dislike side, I dislike make that hate cars that are fake convertibles. You've seen them, sedans with convertible-cloth-like material covering the top of the car. That's a fake convertible, and I dislike fake things, including cars. If you happen to own one of these, I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. The grouchy side of me says that if you want a convertible, get a real one.

These have been a few of my likes and dislikes to demonstrate that I have a grouchy side and a cheerleader side. Sometimes I'm The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and sometimes I'm The Little Engine That Could.

Now, about the conservative-liberal dichotomy. What am I? I'll never tell.

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury College and a Springfield public relations consultant.)

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