Review: Ridiculous premise dooms ‘Dead Silence’

Directed by: James Wan

Starring: Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valletta, Donnie Wahlberg, Michael Fairman, Joan Heney, Bob Gunton, Laura Regan

Rated: R

For any given thing, thought or situation, there’s an associated fear – a phobia.

For some reason, many people have an innate, irrational fear of clowns. That’s called “coulrophobia.”

“Phobophobia” is the fear of phobias.

In his new film “Dead Silence,” director James Wan uses a premise based upon automatonophobia, the fear of ventriloquist dummies, or – since they refer to the things as “dolls” in the movie – pediophobia.

There are two episodes of “The Twilight Zone” dealing with automatonophobia and, before Anthony Hopkins became the world’s most beloved cannibal, he starred in “Magic,” a truly terrifying film that centered on a ventriloquist and his “dummy.”

After seeing “Dead Silence,” I realized I suffer from “hokumphobia,” the fear of an utterly ridiculous premise in a film attempting to pass itself off as a scary movie.

How many times in your life have you come upon something covered up by a sheet and felt the urge to slowly walk toward it and dramatically rip that sheet away? If you did it once with terrifying results would you do again later in the day? And again the next day?

Never in the history of mankind have the situations arisen wherein a person would be presented with so many opportunities to pull sheets off of things.

And that’s not the most ridiculous plot device in the film.

If you thought a ventriloquist’s dummy had killed your spouse (who hasn’t?), would you set the thing down beside you for a long drive back to your hometown?

Before answering, keep in mind that in your hometown, “Seeing a ventriloquist’s dummy is a bad omen.” That’s just a sample of dialogue from “Dead Silence” that’s more wooden than the objects being discussed.

Director Wan and screenwriter Leigh Whannell have stirred up controversy (and disgust) in the past few years with their “Saw” films. With their latest effort they turn from the morbidly grotesque torture theme of those films to, in their minds, a subtler “thriller/chiller” storyline.

Jamie and Lisa are a happy young couple enjoying a playful evening at home in their apartment. There’s a knock at the door and Jamie finds a mysterious package with his name on it. He and Lisa open the thing and find a finely crafted ventriloquist’s dummy. Jamie utters his immortal line about “bad omens” and then steps out to get some Chinese food.

Upon returning he finds Lisa (covered by a sheet) dead and mutilated. Jamie becomes the prime suspect since the only other possible perpetrator at the scene is the dummy – the wooden one, not actor Ryan Kwanten. You can tell them apart – the wooden dummy has a better range of acting skills.

Hot on the case is Detective Lipton. Donnie Wahlberg proves the point that only one member of a manufactured boy band can hope to be blessed with acting ability. In his family, Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg got those chops.

As you might know, Jamie has the dummy (the puppet, not Detective Lipton) ride shotgun as he heads off to his old hometown, a place very familiar with the evil wrought by animatrons and ventriloquists.

Jamie first heads to his estranged father’s mansion. Pop is in a wheelchair – he almost looks like a dummy himself – and married to his third wife, a woman who appears to be younger than Jamie. Something isn’t right here, as the filmmakers so boldly telegraph.

When he finds no answer at dad’s, Jamie hurries off to the local mortuary. He has to arrange for Lisa to be put to rest. When the mortician uncovers Lisa’s body (which is wrapped in a sheet, of course) he screams, “Oh no! It can’t be!”

With this remark one assumes the undertaker is pointing out the film is barely a third over.

The story of long dead Mary Shaw, town ventriloquist/suspected murderer, unfolds. It painfully unfolds. Jamie and Detective Lipton, who has followed Jamie and the other dummy, uncover horrors and sins of the past, many of which are covered with sheets.

The final twist is so completely ludicrous (let’s be frank, it’s stupid) that it seals the deal.

I can’t wait until this comes out on DVD so I can watch it again with unsuspecting friends.

Golly, there’s something in the corner of my office covered with a sheet. I guess I better go see what it is.

Jim Wunderle owns Wunderle Sound Services and is a Springfield free-lance writer and musician. He can be reached at info@wunderlesound.com.