Rational Investing: Al Gore, weight gain sit atop wish list

Clark Davis is a 34-year investment veteran and CEO of Saint Louis Investment Advisors, a specialized money-management company.

It can't all be about making money. During the course of this past year my columns have been, if sometimes tangentially, about investment basics and techniques for selecting equities and fixed-income issues.

If you have been a regular reader, I hope you have benefited from the advice, possibly even avoided making the kind of serious investment errors many have suffered through in the bear market.

Now it's the new year, the time for wishes and resolutions. Here are a few items on my wish list:

To put on at least 20 pounds. I did that easily this past year in spite of wishing to lose 20. That's a little reverse psychology instead of exercise.

Folks who claim to be long-term investors affirming that philosophy by holding their positions past the three-day settlement period. And counseling for those who believe that the losses they suffered in the bursting of the tech bubble will be made up in 2003 by the performance of the AOLs and CISCOs of the world.

To have a mere six months without a single frivolous class-action suit in which the defendant company settles out of court to avoid the costs of litigation, allowing the lawyers to rake in millions in fees while the plaintiffs get just enough compensation for lunch at Mickey D's.

For Jeff Bezos to quit repeating quarter after quarter the one-time expenses in his earnings reports, dispensing with "pro-forma" earnings, and start talking about real earnings.

Several new rational investors from the Springfield area to become clients. (Thought I'd throw in a serious one here.)

Baseball wish No. 1: A Dale Carnegie course for Barry Bonds and a hat big enough for his head.

Baseball wish No. 2: A healthy pitching staff for the St. Louis Cardinals.

Elimination of the double taxation of dividends by allowing all or a portion of the dividends received by individuals to be nontaxable. Let's get more money into the hands of the people and less in the coffers of the big spenders in Washington.

For Al Gore to run for president again. I enjoy puzzles, mysteries and guessing games, so trying to figure out what he stands for for longer than one day would be challenging.

For Osama Bin Laden to convert to Buddhism.

For Macallan 18-year-old Scotch to be on sale just once.

For a crystal ball that doesn't have a smudge spot over the section that makes recommendations for stocks starting with the letter "W" as in WorldCom.

An American Civil Liberties Union and Supreme Court that recognize the difference between freedom of religion and freedom from religion.

That civility and propriety return, including not wearing caps at the dinner table. And not wearing caps backwards. If God wanted us to wear them in that fashion our faces would be on the same side of our bodies as our butts.

For cell phones to be able to detect engine sounds and automatically cut off after 30 seconds in a moving vehicle, leaving make-up application and hair brushing to vie for the title of worst driving distraction.

No, I am not the chronic malcontent curmudgeon that Andy Rooney is. But I doubt that even he would object to my wishing all of you a very sincere Happy New Year.