People Strategies: Office bully must be dealt with in systematic manner

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Linda Bower is a speaker, executive coach and human performance improvement consultant in Rogersville.|ret||ret||tab|

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Dear Linda,|ret||ret||tab|

The privately owned company where I work as a department manager is suffering from a leadership void. The owner is at the top of the management structure but is largely uninvolved in the day-to-day operations and tends to be indecisive. Because of this, there is a continual power struggle between the department managers, and the owner ends up in the role of a weak-willed referee. |ret||ret||tab|

Also, one of the other department managers is very aggressive and sometimes bullies the owner into decisions that are not in the best interest of the company. Everyone including the boss is too intimidated to stand up to him. How can I approach these problems?|ret||ret||tab|

Desperate Department Manager|ret||ret||tab|

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Dear Desperate Department Manager,|ret||ret||tab|

My guess is that the office bully is also a high performer. This will tie the hands of many executives because they are willing to trade inappropriate behavior for results consciously or unconsciously. |ret||ret||tab|

Where the owner is concerned, the best you can do is share your observations about how a decision or indecision has impacted business results. Start by asking questions to clarify your understanding of the situation. Encourage the owner to think about the outcomes and consequences as you see them.|ret||ret||tab|

If you confront the bully issue, be sure to separate the decision from the decision-making process. Present the consequences of the bully's behaviors on the business and other people in the organization. Do not use this opportunity to sabotage your peer.|ret||ret||tab|

Every company faces power struggles between departments. You need to focus on your behavior, not anyone else's behavior. People will know that you are fair and credible when you adopt a problem-solving attitude. Learn to negotiate win-win solutions.|ret||ret||tab|

I've experienced two things while working with bullies. One, they have personal issues that have nothing to do with me. Two, many bullies don't know they are bullying. In both cases, the individual probably grew up that way, and was rewarded for aggressive behavior for more years than you and I can fix. |ret||ret||tab|

Bullies are an increasingly pressing personnel issue for many companies around the world. |ret||ret||tab|

Bullying is not acceptable. You do not have to tolerate it. It will take some courage to change your own behaviors to begin a different way of interacting.|ret||ret||tab|

Document conversations when bullying is taking place, be sure to date your notes and include the purpose of your interaction for later reference.|ret||ret||tab|

When a pattern of behavior surfaces in your documentation, then it is time to confront. You won't make your point by fighting individual battles. |ret||ret||tab|

Tell the bully you are uncomfortable when specific behaviors are displayed and use your documentation to show examples. Put yourself in his or her shoes to determine the best approach. (This is someone's baby son or daughter.)|ret||ret||tab|

Be firm and focus on the consequences of his or her behavior. For example, you are reluctant to engage in problem-solving when he or she is present. Unless the person is a blockhead, he or she will agree to work on improving behaviors and will ask for your continued feedback.|ret||ret||tab|

Have this conversation off-site if possible. Go to breakfast, lunch or for a walk in a park. Don't put yourself in a position of being interrupted by phone calls or drop-ins.|ret||ret||tab|

Eventually the bully will learn that he or she can't get away with bullying in your presence. You can begin a chain reaction in your office. Other people will learn from your success, including the owner, and realize that they too do not have to be bullied. |ret||ret||tab|

If the bully is intentionally vicious, you may well have to pursue your company's personnel policies or even legal action.|ret||ret||tab|

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