Almost every January, I attend a big industry trade show.
This year, there were over 60,000 people enjoying the event, and it seems like I am friends with most of them.
Keep in mind the show was about one week into the new U.S. presidency.
Interestingly, people of wildly different opinions were, well, getting along. I smiled as I saw two friends, who had been in a political battle a few days earlier on Facebook, now conversing politely about shared business challenges.
Two things struck me at the show.
1. There is more that connects us than divides us.
2. We are wasting time trying to change other people.
An industry event gives attendees a chance to present new ideas, solutions, opportunities and concerns about the economic and political climate. Alas, sometimes we spend time and energy trying to change the other guy.
Of course, people can change. But only you can do it. A wise friend of mine once told me, “We only get to change what’s inside our hula hoop.”
Throughout the show, I considered this paradox: Global change is always personal change.
I can’t make employees, subcontractors and partners do anything. That’s outside my hula hoop.
What’s inside? I could create a business plan and mission that inspires me.
When I do, and when I share that mission, I may become magnetic to people who might share my values and be intrigued by the mission. That’s what might encourage team members to show up on day one and day two. They are watching and hoping, perhaps, that I actually live my values and pursue my mission. If I initiate an honorable, compelling game, some people may want to play with me and work with me.
That is within my hula hoop. I don’t have the right or the ability to change them. And it doesn’t make someone worth any less just because we choose to walk different paths.
This means I can’t make customers do anything either.
I can love them, send messages in their direction, identify people who may want to listen and offer solutions to problems. But I can’t make them call me. I can’t make them buy from me.
What is within my hula hoop? I could craft a solid marketing plan. I can maintain a clean and tidy place of business. I can improve delivery of our products and services. I can demonstrate that I make good on my promises, and apologize – and fix it – when I get derailed.
When I am tempted to or try to change someone, I pause. I breathe.
Then, I look inside my hula hoop.
Ellen Rohr is an author and business consultant offering profit-building tips, trending business blogs and online workshops at EllenRohr.com. Her books include “Where Did the Money Go?” and “The Bare Bones Weekend Biz Plan.” She can be reached at ellen@ellenrohr.com.
