Opinion: Trust ends when lies become epidemic

Was it really a surprise? Did the author of the No. 1 best-selling nonfiction book actually make your ethics Richter scale twitch when he admitted he “embellished” a few facts?

If you have not noticed, lying, next to computer programming, has become the required competency of the new millennium.

And James Frey is in good company.

Bill Clinton emphatically said, “I did not have sex with that woman.” Richard Nixon, with jowls twitching, declared, “I am not a crook.” And what was the real reason why George W. Bush committed this nation to war in Iraq? The latest poll numbers suggest 60 percent of us are not buying “weapons of mass destruction.”

The government told us the new Medicare drug program was logical and easy to use.

Someone lied.

The Army told us NFL player Pat Tillman heroically died in a firefight with the enemy.

Someone lied.

Congress told us both parties were tethered from accepting huge financial gifts by their stringent ethics code.

A lot of people lied.

Look, you are going to say, “LeMon, wake up and smell your own humanity - everybody does it.”

I agree; I have smelled my own humanity, and lying has besmirched my timeline. But commonality or even popularity does not expunge the toxicity of prevarication in this society. I contend that lying is eroding the bedrock of our post-millennium culture.

Using a Freyism, look at the effects of a “million little lies” on our societal house of cards.

If our government does not tell us the truth about wiretapping our phones, the safety of our prescription drugs, the largesse of our national debt or the potential of a terrorist nuclear attack … ultimately trust is the victim of lying.

If your organization does not tell the truth about planned layoffs, the pay and benefits of the chief executive officer, the economic forecasts for the sale of your products, the health care co-pay increase next year … ultimately trust is the victim of lying.

If the people in your family do not tell the truth about why they were late last night, how the right front fender got dented, where the cash under the cookie jar went, why these pills do not look like vitamins … ultimately trust is the victim of lying.

When lying is epidemic we begin to back away from organizations and people because trust is in short supply. If we cannot find the truth, all of life begins a slippery slide into disillusionment.

I have come to the conclusion that we lie because the truth will hurt.

James Frey did not want to deal with the hurt that his story was not “exceptional.” Instead of spending weeks in jail, he spent two hours waiting to be booked and then was released. Frey reasoned, “Who wants to read a book about someone who made a quick trip through a police station?” The story had to be jazzed up … with a lie.

I agree there is some information that needs to be parsed out in order for us to handle it. But we are all adults living in a free society, and we can handle truth … even when it hurts.

I want to know the terrorist threats to my life when I get on an airliner or walk the streets of New York or Los Angeles. I want to know it will require a Ph.D. for me to figure out the Medicare drug program. I want to know what it will cost me to keep the lights on if a new City Utilities power plant is not built.

What I do not want are additional lies to keep the lie alive. I do not want to hear, “I neglected to say…,” or “I have no memory of ever saying that …,” or “It all depends on your definition of 'is',” or “At that time we were convinced that …”.

Even though James Frey went to Oprah's woodshed, “A Million Little Pieces” is still high on the New York Times Best Seller List. Even though Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay may go to jail, there are other corporate executives who have just turned on the stove to cook some more books.

But to point fingers at Martha Stewart, Bernie Ebbers and poor James Frey is the easy way out.

Will you and I “embellish” an expense report, tell someone it is “in the mail” or add a few zeros to our pending IRS return?

The truth may hurt; hurt goes away.

Disillusionment hangs around for a lifetime.

Cal LeMon of Executive Enrichment Inc. solves organizational problems with customized training and consulting. He can be reached via his Web site, www.execenrichment.com, or via e-mail at execenrichment@aol.com.[[In-content Ad]]