Opinion: Resolve to express thanks in New Year

The cheery old gentleman gets millions of requests. He schleps all over the world and what thanks does he get? Nada. Zilch. Zip.

My “letters to Santa” come in the form of wedding invitations, graduation announcements, baby and wedding shower invitations, birthday parties and the odd retirement party.

Loyally, I pick out what I consider to be nice gifts, visiting stores and avidly checking multipage registries. I pack them. I insure them. I enclose cards, and I wait. Just like Santa, I often get zip.

I don’t know if my gift arrived. Longingly, I go through the green insurance receipts pinned to the bulletin board to see if I can remove just one and make a mental check mark.

Sometimes, I send a brief and pathetic e-mail: “Did our gift arrive?” Often I get no response. You might be thinking that this lack of response comes from the ungrateful children of friends. It often comes from the friends themselves – even very close friends.

Now, of course, there are exceptions. We have one friend who is so prompt with her thank-yous that we have joked she writes the thank-you for a party on the way home, using a flashlight! Others quickly send an e-mail. Many brides follow the etiquette books and do the right thing.

I suspect the ones who don’t respond are just as bad in a business setting. These are the same people who don’t thank employees for a job well done, don’t thank vendors for generous gifts and don’t send thank-you letters after interviews.

What has happened to the etiquette of thank-you notes? They have, sadly, gone the same way as RSVPs. People claim that they are too busy and that they forget. Sometimes, they say they gave a verbal thank-you.

At the risk of being a 21st century Emily Post, I don’t think that there is any excuse for not sending a written thank-you note any time you have received a gift or special service. That gift may be the gift of time, as in an interview, or a physical gift. In this day of e-mail, there is no excuse for not thanking someone for his or her efforts.

Here are 10 reasons thank-yous are important in business (and in your personal life as well). Sending thank-you notes shows:

Your good manners. On a business-to-business level, people want to work with others who are polite and respectful. Apple One, the temp agency, reports on its Web site that “only one in five job seekers takes the time to send a thank-you letter.” Sending that note can make you really stand out!

Your writing skills. This may not be important in everyday notes, but it may be crucial in a follow-up letter after a job interview or after an important business meeting.

Your ability to appreciate the efforts of others. Many feel isolated in business, even though they may work around many others. Receiving a written note or card stands out and makes us feel special. If you have a team that is behind you, you need to thank those behind-the-scenes people and not hog all the bows! There are packs of business thank-you cards that managers can order online (www.successories.com and www.executivegreetingcards.com are two of many sources).

Your understanding and grasp of what took place whether it is a meeting or a job interview. Have you ever left a meeting or an interview and thought, “Boy, I wish I had said that!” A follow-up thank-you note gives you that chance.

Your warmth. Sending a thank-you note humanizes you for the recipient. “I can’t believe he took the time.” A longtime family friend is a city official in Los Angeles. He takes the time to write a personal note on many photos, articles and letters that go out from his office. When you receive one, you feel special, even though you know he sends out thousands of notes in a year.

Your attention to detail. A well-placed thank-you note demonstrates your ability to see the details and inner workings of big projects.

Your ability to go the extra mile. You can send a generic thank-you to a group or just a lovely card, or you can take the time to single out individuals who have added value. Instead of a generic e-mail to the group, how about one which adds: “A big congrats to Mary who took the time to put together that special PowerPoint for us! Mary, we appreciate your work for the team!”

Your promptness. In a business setting, a timely thank-you shows your ability, even in a subtle way, of keeping deadlines.

Your organizational ability. Let’s face it, we are all busy. It is hard for all of us to take the time to send a thank-you. To that, I say, “No excuses! Just do it!” Your taking the time shows that you are very organized.

Your understanding of how business really works, i.e. through personal relationships!

When I was growing up, my parents stuffed a huge knitted Christmas sock with all kinds of goodies. There were always surprises, but there were also three gifts that came every time: a Lifesaver “book,” a jar of lemon drops and one or two boxes of note cards. At the time, I chafed at having to write thank-you notes, but I am so grateful that I have this habit.

Why don’t you add the habit of sending thank-you notes to your New Year’s resolutions?

You will feel great about doing it, and your recipients will be honored.

Thank you, and happy New Year!

Sinara Stull O’Donnell is a professional speaker and writer through Springfield-based SinaraSpeaks. She is the author of “Be The Star Of Your Life: Are You Ready For Your Close-Up?”

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