Opinion: Nobody can keep secrets, so try truth

In one of my first jobs I worked for a major college textbook publisher. I was thrilled to get this job. I'd had a few jobs, but this one seemed real. I was to represent all of Arizona and southern Nevada for a company with headquarters in New York. I would be trained in New Jersey. The sales meeting was going to be in Ft. Lauderdale. I also would have a company car, an expense account, the ability to make a bonus and what I thought at the time was a wonderful salary.

My bubble was burst at the training meeting in New Jersey when I discovered a male colleague was making $5,000 more than I did. We entered the company at the same time. We had the same experience, but I actually had a master's degree, important for this job, and he didn't. When I asked my boss about this, he said, “Well, we pay more to men because they have families.”

You guessed it. He didn't have a family. The true translation was that they just paid more to men. My boss was very insistent: “How did you find out?”

Well, duh, he told me! He turned to me at the bar and said, “What are you making?” Like a dummy, I told him and then I got the word on his salary. I was crushed.

Some of the “secrets” over the years have included:

o Overhearing my boss planning a trip with a vendor he was having an affair with.

o Finding out that my predecessor in a sales job had sold samples (in this case, expensive art books) to a bookstore owner. Who told me? The bookstore owner!

o Learning that my boss was on probation by receiving a pack of mail from the regional office and finding a copy of the correspondence!

o Finding out that bonuses were being awarded to other members in a department by overhearing a discussion.

The bottom line is that there are no secrets. Whatever your role in an organization, you had better assume that everything you say or do is going to be found out.

You can take some steps so that the “secrets” will not harm teamwork, the bottom line or your reputation.

Once you have assumed that the secret is going to get out, you need to consider its possible impact. Embarrassment? Hostility? Decrease in motivation? All of the above?

What can be done to lessen the blow of the information leaking out? If the information is gossipy, you can almost guarantee that it will get out. So, keep your nose clean and don't pass it on. It is almost always completely inaccurate anyway.

But what about company information? Tell only people who need to know. You've heard it before: “It's on a need-to-know basis.”

If you have bad news, get it out yourself. Don't allow the news to leak. Face it head-on. If the company is going to renege on a promise of bonuses, get the news out quickly.

The same goes for good news. I worked for an outplacement company and heard the rumor that our daily rate was going up. It was a typical rumor. The person who told me this had had her rate raised, but she had been with the company a long time and it was a raise. I was not eligible for it. I complained to a friend about this inequity, and by the time the story got back to me, I was being demoted! Not true. I just wasn't getting the same raise as my colleague.

Some politicians are very smart. When a reporter ferrets out some negative bit of true information, they address it immediately instead of denying it or trying to cover it up.

I have been in large meetings where the president of a division was asked a question and he was so nonplussed that he lied in front of 200 people. It was terribly embarrassing when he had to send out a retraction letter.

Raises, demotions, changes in policy, salaries, bonuses, gossip and unethical behavior will always get out.

Don't try to keep secrets. Try the truth. It works a lot better!

Sinara Stull O'Donnell is a professional speaker and writer through Springfield-based SinaraSpeaks. She is the author of “Be The Star Of Your Life: Are You Ready For Your Close-Up?” She can be reached at sinaraspeaks@earthlink.com or www.sinaraspeaks.com.