Opinion: Networking agenda creates success

We were having a very pleasant lunch, when she suddenly looked up from her lobster bisque and said, “I don’t know what your agenda is.”

I was speechless. I didn’t think I had an agenda. I was hoping to make a friend who was also a business contact. She thought I had some Machiavellian plan.

I stumbled:

“Well, I wanted to thank you for booking me.”

“I don’t really have an agenda. I just wanted to get to know you.”

“Maybe we could talk about future engagements.”

She just stared. The conversation became stilted. She thanked me for lunch, and I never heard from her again.

What had I done wrong?

It has taken me years to figure it out: She was right. I didn’t have an agenda for the meeting. I had made no mental or written plan about anything I wanted to cover. I hadn’t established a goal that could be achieved from the meeting. By not laying a groundwork, I put both of us in an awkward position. I had expected her to read my mind.

Like most life lessons, this one was painful and took time to understand. When I finally figured it out, I realized why other networking had failed or been successful.

Let’s turn my three mistakes into positives for the future:

1. Plan for your networking meeting or event. Let’s say you plan to attend the Springfield Area Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours, which, attended by 300 to 500 people, can be overwhelming in volume.

I’ve noticed that many attendees do the following:

Revert to the 8th grade and stand around hoping for someone to talk to them.

Seek out people they know, making no new contacts.

Come with a friend or spouse and stick to that person.

Usually, the results aren’t great with these approaches. We leave feeling empty.

To profit more from a large event, consider the following:

Plan a “one-minute commercial,” briefly stating what you do and a plan for action. “I’m a professional speaker and writer. I write and speak about humor in the workplace, communication, presentation skills and customer service. Here’s my card. You might enjoy visiting my Web site to sign up for one of my free newsletters.” This may begin an interchange about that person’s needs and how you might interact in the future.

Place 20 cards in your pocket or purse and don’t leave until you give them out to 20 new people. This gives you a physical goal.

If you don’t know anyone, seek out others who are alone. They will welcome the overture, and you may make a great contact.

If you come with someone, split up to work the room. It is easier to mingle as a solo.

Ask about others’ businesses. Nothing is so obnoxious as people so self-absorbed that their eyes glaze over in conversation. Networking is a two-way street and there is a definite “give to get” in interactions.

2. Formulate a goal for this encounter. This is a tough one. Many feel that the goal of networking is to tell as many people as you can about your business. Certainly that is an important goal. For many businesses, however, volume is not as important as meeting the professionals who might need your services. When I network, I try to find out as much as I can about the other person’s business. As I do so, several things are happening:

I am finding out if the person has a service I can use personally or professionally.

I am learning about another industry, the associations they have, how they interact with others and if they might use my speaking services.

I am quickly thinking of ways I can help the person professionally. Who can I recommend? Who might need the service? Who can I pass the person’s card to?

Your goal might be to meet a particular person or group. In this scenario, you play “who do you know?” until you make the connection you seek. This is a dangerous game, however, as you may be perceived as distant or self-absorbed.

3. Make sure that the other person or attendees are reading from the same playbook. Obviously, an event billed as a networking event attracts others looking to network. The confusion comes with situations that are either borderline, as mine was, or in social situations where you want to network.

Since my awkward lunch of six years ago, I preface such meetings with: “Would you like to get together for lunch to discuss … ?” If the person might turn out to be a friend as well as a business associate, I let that develop from the lunch. Now I am much clearer on my goals and purpose. I have said, “I really enjoy speaking with you. Would you like to have lunch sometime so that we can talk more about opportunities in the Springfield area?”

Networking takes time. Instant contacts must be reinforced over time. Relationships need to be cultivated with speedy follow-ups, further meetings, mutual respect and empathy for the business needs of others.

What’s your agenda?

Sinara Stull O’Donnell is a professional speaker and writer through Springfield-based SinaraSpeaks. She is the author of “Be The Star Of Your Life: Are You Ready For Your Close-Up?” She can be reached at sinaraspeaks@earthlink.com or www.sinaraspeaks.com.[[In-content Ad]]