Opinion: Dare to dream playing old-time parlor games

Parlor games were played by hosts and guests to spark conversation and to have fun. They often required some serious thought.

With the advent of television and a whole host of electronic gadgets, people-centered games have become somewhat antiquated.

Parlor games aren’t altogether passé; I recently heard about a new one that sounds interesting. Like many such games, it requires individuals to reveal certain personal things about themselves. Players are asked to tell three things about themselves they would change if they could.

In the past, I have written columns about two other parlor games that caused insightful thinking. One game asked players to name the actor they would want to portray them in a movie of their life. After much thought, I wrote that my choice would be Dustin Hoffman. He has aged along with me in such a way that he would still be my choice.

The other parlor-game column blends well into the present one. Years ago in print, I played the game of deciding the epitaph I would want on my tombstone.

Anyone playing that game soon learns that it isn’t a frivolous game; it forces you to think seriously about yourself. Reluctantly, I opted for “He did not suffer fools gladly.” Reluctantly, because I would have preferred something more positive.

That selection ushers me into the present parlor game. The thing I would like to change about myself today is to name a new epitaph. In essence, I’d like to have more patience with those I do not suffer gladly. In the passing years, I may have become slightly more patient, but surely not enough to call in the engravers to erase the epitaph and replace it with one more positive and inspiring. I will keep on thinking about that.

The second change I would make requiring less heavy-handed self-evaluation is my wish to be taller. I’m not asking to buy my clothes at a big and tall shop nor am I wishing to endure questions such as, “How’s the weather up there?”

My wish would be only slightly taller, so that I could find slacks that aren’t too long for me. Almost all dress or casual slacks come sized. Finding the right waist size is easy.

However, the chances of finding a pair of slacks of the right length are equal to the chances my beloved Kansas City Royals will win the World Series. It won’t happen.

I realize I can pay extra to have garments tailored to my size or do it at home. Why should I have to do that when someone an inch taller can put on a new pair of slacks and go on his merry way?

Back to the parlor game. My third wish: If I could change one thing about me, I would be able to play a musical instrument. I have been an avid jazz fan for most of my adult life. My only hobby is collecting jazz recordings. I enjoy almost any genre of music performed by talented musicians.

Before someone suggests that I take lessons, I have tried. I simply have no innate musical talent. My unconditional surrender to a craving to make music is symbolized by a poster that for most of my career hung in my various offices until it became too tattered and had to be retired. The poster said it all: “To have great artists, there must be great audiences.” To that doctrine, I have been true. I adore good music and deplore bad, the benchmark of great audiences.

Believe me, I would trade my excellent audience credentials in a New York minute for the ability to play a respectable jazz piano.

Care to play this parlor game? What changes would you make?

Send your comments to Springfield Business Journal Editor Eric Olson, eolson@sbj.net.

Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.