Male stereotypes assume lack of taste

I was browsing in the men’s section of a large department store. Before me lay seemingly acres of men’s clothing. I was wondering how this, and the many other equally well-stocked stores, could possibly sell that much merchandise before replacing it all in the fall.

Then, I stopped in mid-thought; a far more perplexing realization came to me. It was eerie; among the men’s clothing, I became aware that I was the only man in the place. The crowded checkout lines contained only women paying for men’s clothing.

I spied a woman looking through a display of men’s underwear. Never have I shopped for women’s underwear; if I were to sort through a stack of women’s underwear with the same fervor as the woman in question, I would probably be escorted out of the store.

Like the Titanic meeting the iceberg, reality and I met.

It must be true: Lots of women actually do shop for their husbands’ clothes. As for me, I am aghast when someone asks if my wife picked out a tie or sweater I am wearing.

Even more irritating is the assumptive: “Your wife must really have good taste. Your tie (or whatever) looks very nice.” Growl, grumble!

Of course, gentle soul that I am, I’ve always politely responded that I bought the tie, and that I’m actually dexterous enough to tie the knot all by myself.

Like the Titanic after the iceberg, I had a sinking feeling. Women don’t trust guys to pick out their own underwear and the like.

Even worse, a lot of guys apparently let this injustice run rampant. The women in lines waiting to pay for men’s clothing are proof. You may suggest the possibility that these women were buying gifts for men prior to a holiday. In truth, it was before a holiday: Mother’s Day!

Maybe I’ve been out of order all these years when I chastised those who don’t give me credit for being able to select my clothes.

It occurs to me that the runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks, didn’t get cold feet and flee just before her wedding. Rather, I visualize the soon-to-be-jilted prospective groom telling her that he was capable of buying his own clothes, and he intended to do so. It just may be that she couldn’t cope with the role reversal, said, “I’m out of here!” and boarded a bus to Albuquerque.

Actually, I have heard about data suggesting that a high percentage of wives select most of their husbands’ clothes. Such talk only adds to the negative image of us guys.

Most TV situation comedies portray husbands as hopeless, mindless ninnies. Most of them can’t do anything for themselves. One needs to look long and hard to find a TV husband with enough common sense to be turned loose in a men’s department to buy anything he might wear in public.

TV advertising is no more enlightening. It isn’t often you see an ad depicting a husband with a measurable IQ.

The comic pages offer hardly any erudite male role models: Hagar the Horrible is the poster boy for crude male behavior. Dagwood Bumstead can’t do much beyond overeating.

What society calls a “girl thing” is usually some sort of sweet, genteel behavior. A “guy thing” includes such behavior as refusing to ask for directions. Generally, a “guy thing” is considered uncouth behavior. The characteristics of a couch potato also masquerade as a guy thing. A wife is never a couch potato. Of course not; a couch potato is an unshaven slob who guzzles beer, burps a lot and watches wrestling on TV.

I am certain some of us guys are capable of selecting our own clothes. As for me, I can take care of myself.

As I write this, my wife is out of town. I hope she gets back soon; I can’t find my blue socks.

Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.