Letter to the Editor: Dear IRS …

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 2005 return showing that I owe $3,407 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see that the Pentagon pays $171.50 for hammers and NASA buys $600 toilet seats.

I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers (value $1,029), bringing my total remitted to $3,429. Please apply the overpayment of $22 to the Presidential Election Fund as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending one 1.5-inch Phillips head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22 for each 1.5-inch Phillips head screw enclosed for your convenience).

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A Patriotic Taxpayer