Intermission: 'Bad Santa' immediate Christmas classic for cynics

Jim Wunderle owns Wunderle Sound Services and is a Springfield free-lance writer and musician.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year," as Andy Williams proclaims in one of the endless series of Christmas songs that play in every store, shopping mall and parking lot from Halloween until after New Year's Day.

So if you're looking for that ultimate feel-good holiday movie, you might want to consider staying away from "Bad Santa." Not that it's a bad movie I laughed until my sides hurt at virtually every scene. But "It's a Wonderful Life" it's not. Bear in mind it was directed by Terry Zwigoff, the talented director who made the unsettling documentary "Crumb," and was executive produced by the always offbeat Coen brothers.

So, if you want something to take the kids to for Christmas, stick with "Elf," which itself is a fine offering.

In "Bad Santa," Billy Bob Thornton plays Willie, an alcoholic, profanity-spewing, safecracking cynic. Look up "uncouth" and you will find Willie's picture. His partner is the vertically challenged Marcus (Tony Cox). The two have a pretty good scam worked out which allows them to work about a month a year and make enough money to vacation the rest of the time.

Willie gets a job as a department store Santa every holiday season, and Marcus is Santa's elf. At the end of the season, Marcus hides in the store after closing, disables the alarm and then lets Willie in to crack the store's safe. Marcus shops for a few expensive gifts for his wife who drives the getaway car and the three of them split. When the next November rolls around, Marcus, who is the brains of the outfit, calls Willie, and the Santa/elf team meets in another city to run the scam again.

Willie likes the money he spends most of it on booze but being a misanthropic sort, he hates the fact that he has to have greedy little brats sit on him all day while their snobbish parents look on, usually look on in horror as they hear what (un)jolly old Saint Nick is saying

The scam itself is plausible, but Willie is so over the top it's impossible to believe he would last more than 20 minutes as a store Santa. He drinks on the job, swears at the kids, takes breaks to have sex in the big and tall ladies' dressing room, and insults customers and management alike.

Unbelievable, yes, but if you have a sense of humor with a cynical streak, it's hilarious. And Zwigoff, to his credit, makes no compromises in his tale.

This year the pair are working at a Phoenix department store. Things are going as usual. Willie is drunk, railing at the kids and shocking the parents. Marcus is smoothing things over and waiting for Christmas Eve. Then a trio of events occur that throw things awry.

First, Willie meets Sue, a beautiful barmaid with a serious Santa fetish. She insists he wear at least his Santa hat when they engage in sex. Next, the store detective does some investigating and gets the goods on Willie and Marcus. Instead of turning them in, though, he wants a piece of the action. A big piece.

Thirdly, and most important of all, is "The Kid." Thurman Berman is an overweight, dweebish sort who is constantly being picked on by other kids. He meets "Santa," and while he knows this isn't really Mr. Claus, he becomes fixated. Thurman's dad is "exploring in the mountains" an untruth we figure out later his mom lives in heaven with Jesus, and the only person he has to take care of him is Grandma. The problem is, Grandma is senile at best and semi-catatonic most of the time. So the kid is pretty much on his own. He begins to stalk Willie, which irritates the crotchety old Claus.

But when Willie finds strangers going through his seedy motel room one night, he decides to go home with Thurman. And it's quite a place. Grandma has no idea what's going on, so she's not a problem; Thurman's dad has a Mercedes; and there's a hot tub where Willie can entertain Sue, who Thurman calls "Mrs. Claus' sister."

It's a running gag from an earlier statement made by Willie as to why he and Mrs. Claus have split up. As annoyed as Willie gets with the kid, he finally decides he's got to help him help himself. There's a hilarious sparring match, and Willie shows Thurman a few dirty tricks to use on the bullies.

The scam, outside of the store detective's intrusion, seems to be on track, but during the third act, things take a darker (well, less comedic) turn. One worries the film may get a bit too serious. Thankfully it doesn't, and in its own way it even has a somewhat happy ending. The key phrase here is "in its own way."

This film is not going to be for everyone, and I must stress again that it's not a movie for kids at all. But if you like an occasional dark comedy like "Harold and Maude," "The War of the Roses" or "The Ref," or if you're just fed up with the holiday hoopla, treat yourself to a decidedly wicked and extremely well-made film.

For me, "Bad Santa" is a new holiday staple.