HR Solutions: Conflict can lead to better performance at work

Interpersonal conflict is on the rise in office environments due to a significant increase in using the strategy of team building.

While teamwork is a solid management technique, it also makes the success of each individual dependent upon the behaviors of others. A human being is naturally more comfortable when he is in control, and since it is hard to direct what team members do and say, conflict abounds.

Conflict is an opportunity to improve work relationships and procedures. To ensure resolution and a positive outcome from a conflict meeting, take the following proven steps:

State the purpose of the meeting. Remember, you are working toward a win-win situation.

Keep the corporate mission in mind.

Always strive to express the negative in as positive a manner as possible.

Cite the benefits of a successful conclusion.

Express your responsibility in the conflict, even if it was only that you should have spoken up sooner. A discord is never one-sided; it takes two to tango.

Describe the situation by painting a picture. Remember, just because something is important to you does not mean the other person is even aware of the issue. The description must be specific, observable, and nonjudgmental.

Concrete and specific examples will increase the other person's comprehension. By focusing on the facts, you identify the problem and get to the source of the conflict.

Discuss the present; do not harbor resentments from the past.

Avoid personal affronts, which tend to be ineffective in resolving conflict.

Do not use absolute words, such as always and never, or judgmental terms such as lazy or stupid.

Pinpoint the real source of the disagreement. Check for multiple issues or a potential different, underlying problem that is the true issue. Agreement must be reached on exactly what the problem is in order to attain resolution.

If you (and the other party) have difficulty concurring, suggest you both rethink and discuss any additional issues that may not have been mentioned.

Be clear and specific regarding what you want and expect.

Listen to the other person state his needs. Ascertain any shared desires and build upon those.

List all possible solutions and investigate them together, citing pros and cons. Remain nonjudgmental and search for several options. The more you involve the other person in the process, the more committed he will become to finding an equitable solution.

Remember, the goal is to work with him to find a mutual solution. If there is not a mutual solution, determine the best compromise answer for both of you.

Commit to a solution. Develop an action plan. List the specific steps, assign responsibility, and establish explicit completion dates for each step.

Devise a plan for future follow-up meetings to evaluate progress.

Execute your part of the plan. Provide positive feedback when appropriate.

Finally, keep an open line of communication. Agree to talk about problems in the future, as they arise. This is the best way to sidestep any further conflicts.

(Lynne Haggerman is president/owner of Haggerman & Associates, an employment, management training, human resources consulting and outplacement firm.)