HR Solutions: Assertiveness works best for healthy organizations

Lynne Haggerman is president/owner of Haggerman & Associates, a firm providing outplacement, retained search and management consulting/training on human resource issues.

Three primary communication styles in the workplace are passiveness, assertiveness and aggressiveness. Both passive and aggressive individuals will negatively affect companies by inappropriately handling employee and customer conflict, ineffectively training and coaching staff, disciplining and terminating good associates due to inaccurate perceptions, and hiring people with similar communication styles, thereby continuing the dysfunctional cycle.

The passive worker

A passive worker remains submissive during most team discussions and rarely expresses his opinions. He views the rights of others as superior to his, with rights defined as opinions of behaviors, feelings and ideas. Conflict and confrontation tend to be avoided. He often has a high degree of interpersonal anxiety. Concealment of feelings is a distinctive characteristic because he strives to evade hurting or disappointing those around him, and must be liked at all costs. These choices of behavior predict that he will not achieve his goals, since inside he feels helpless, bitter, resentful, taken advantage of and controlled by coworkers and managers.

The aggressive team member

An aggressive staff member talks and acts in an arrogant, hostile manner that sets peers and subordinates "straight" so they do things his way. Driven to win, he will attain his objectives in any way possible, such as ridiculing or undermining an individual or team with humiliating words or actions. He is a serial bully who is emotionally immature. He possesses an almost compulsive need to criticize in a verbally abusive manner, creating psychological effects in recipients that are analogous to physical abuse. His actions will undermine and ultimately destroy teams and businesses. Strong dislike and avoidance will be the typical reactions of employees, as well as curt and sarcastic communication. The receivers will feel stress, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, insecurity, self-doubt, embarrassment, and diminished self-esteem.

Assertive is OK

An assertive worker possesses the best communication mode. He is balanced and communicative, tactfully being himself. His basic belief system is that people are worthy of his respect, mistakes can be fixed, he has rights and so do others, it is better to handle problems when they happen, and he may not win but he will always be able to contend with problematic issues. These core beliefs will enable him to pursue what are in his best interests, stand up for himself, and honestly state his views and feelings without unwarranted ridicule or internal anxiety. He admits mistakes, expresses his choices, values the opinions of others, ascertains and deals with the root causes of problems, and acknowledges his weaknesses while relying on his strengths.

Finding assertive workers

Determine the communication style of candidates during the selection process to ascertain if they are passive, assertive or aggressive. Include the desired characteristics and behaviors of an assertive person in job descriptions and performance appraisals. Above all, if the organization contains a disruptive passive or aggressive individual, provide training and coaching in becoming assertive. If this fails, be assertive and reassign him to a more suitable position or release him.