For maximum efficiency, don?t bend any paper clips

We were hoping to find for this issue on office environment an expert on analyzing and reorganizing that complex of individuals, interactions and tasks that together make up the phenomenon we call "the office."

Such ambitious abilities once fell within the purview of the professional folk known as "efficiency experts."

Despite our best efforts, we failed to find such a person. Whatever happened to efficiency experts? Do they still exist? Are such people still going around straightening out office messes, but now doing it under some newer, more compelling title?

A bona fide expert

My first encounter with a bona fide efficiency expert was at the tender age of 18 while working as an expeditor at Boeing in Seattle. I was sitting at my desk one afternoon reviewing requisitions for small equipment to be delivered to various departments and at the same time idly and unconsciously piddling with a paperclip, straightening it out, bending it into no particular shape, just busying my hands.

"That paperclip"

Suddenly I heard, "You're bending that paperclip." I looked up to see a tall, dark-haired man in a black suit standing about four feet away and positively glowering. "Do you know what would happen if every Boeing employee stopped right this moment and bent one paperclip?" he asked.

He frowned even further. "That would be hundreds of boxes of paperclips destroyed. Do you know how much that many boxes of paperclips cost?" I shook my head. He waited a moment to let the magnitude of the issue sink in, then gave me the exact figure. I can't remember the number now, but it was in the thousands of dollars.

Being green as grass and fresh from the Midwest, I was thoroughly schooled in the punishments to be exacted for dishonesty. Naturally, I felt like I'd almost committed the Brink's robbery.

The experience was so intimidating that after the efficiency guy left I actually tried to bend the paperclip back into its normal shape. "Maybe nobody'll notice," I thought. What an idiot.

That small moment left a lasting im-pression. I swear I don't think I've since ever bent a paperclip that didn't belong to me. On the positive side, however, every time I bend one of my very own paperclips, I still get a delicious sense of satisfaction.

In all fairness to the efficiency trade, in later years I encountered a couple of efficiency experts less concerned with paperclip destruction than actually streamlining office operations. And they did that job rather admirably.

Our failure to find a latter-day efficiency expert notwithstanding, we've managed to gather into this short but hopefully still special section Kris Hegle's story on ergonomics expert Nancy Dickey, Christine Ballew-Gonzales' bright account of consultant Mark Holmes' advice on holiday office gift-giving, a look at Howsmon's, one of the region's leading emporia of office furniture, and a few other office-related goodies.

We hope you find same diverting, maybe even a little helpful.

And if you can clue us in to the whereabouts of an efficiency expert, whatever he or she might be called these days, please do. As your reward in advance, we'll give you the one tried-and-true formula we know for creating the best-functioning, most efficient office possible.

It's called, "The Golden Rule."

Here's wishing you and the office in your life the best.