Education Matters: Parental involvement vital during school years

|tab|

I graduated from high school in the spring of 1951. I had been accepted by Washington University in St. Louis for a new medical program to expedite the preparation of physicians for the Korean War. A six-year medical degree with all expenses paid had much appeal. I decided to attend Southwest Missouri State University to get some more chemistry and wound up staying at SMS.|ret||ret||tab|

Between summer school and the fall term my dad suggested that I drive to Springfield and arrange for a place to live. There were no men's dormitories back then. I returned to my dad's office and reported that two friends and I had taken an apartment which would most assuredly save tons of money by our doing our own cooking and would be just the ticket for a new 18-year-old freshman. One must recall that in those days that an unsupervised apartment was considered by most parents as a risk and a guarantee for failure.|ret||ret||tab|

My dad cleared his desk, asked several colleagues to check on some items needing to be done and asked me to get in the car with him. We drove to Springfield where he canceled the apartment and found a room at 711 S. Florence. Mrs. Grant Powell was taking male students and provided some supervision for them. Daddy checked the bed, switched all the lights on and off, tried the window shades to assure they worked and asked the price of the room, which was $5 per week. Daddy said that the price was high but we would take the room, then left his name, address and telephone number with Mrs. Powell and said, "If my son requires any special attention, call me and I will take care of it".|ret||ret||tab|

I was 18, embarrassed, somewhat angry and certain that I was being mistreated. My dad and I had established a trust relationship and this treatment was unusual.|ret||ret||tab|

We got back in the car and headed north on Highway 65 toward my hometown of Buffalo. It never occurred to me to argue with my dad but I was determined to ignore him all the way home. We were going over the Glenstone viaduct when I glanced at my dad. His eyes were filled with tears that were streaming down his cheeks. He looked at me with more love and understanding than many children ever see and said, "Son, it is just too important and we will not take a chance." |ret||ret||tab|

I then understood everything. My dad, who had taken an active hand in rearing me and who had always been as good a friend as I have ever had, continued to be involved in the important intersections of my life.|ret||ret||tab|

School just started. Children all over the nation and here in the Ozarks are being prepared for the next academic year. |ret||ret||tab|

One may say, "This is nothing special, the kids start to school every year." This is something special! Every family should give serious time and attention to helping the child and youth think through the issues that will make the schooling experience more successful. Families should establish a habit of, each year, preparing their children for the important event of starting school. We should have discussions focusing on:|ret||ret||tab|

How we act in school, treat our follow students, treat our teachers and the importance of obedience to the constituted authority;|ret||ret||tab|

There must be a firm understanding that the family supports the school and teachers. The child must know that the family values education;|ret||ret||tab|

There must be an agreement on sleep and eating patterns. A good night's sleep and proper food are essential to a child's health and feeling of well being. These are important to having a good day at school;|ret||ret||tab|

The significance of good study habits and an understanding that study comes before play;|ret||ret||tab|

A clear understanding that the child represents the family every day and his or her manner of dress and personal care are important. The family must not be taken in by the comment that, "Everybody is wearing it and they are all doing it." The child needs to know his or her families' standards and be expected to adhere to them;|ret||ret||tab|

An agreement with the children in the home that if the child will carry out his part of the bargain, the parent will be a model to follow and will get properly involved with the school by providing a supportive home where the child can thrive.|ret||ret||tab|

There are other matters that may also be of importance as we prepare our children for a successful year in school. Most parents will know.|ret||ret||tab|

I sometimes worry that some families either don't care enough about their children to be involved in the important moments of their lives or may be afraid to do so. We must not fool ourselves; there are parents who worry that they will not be popular with the younger generation and thus give up the job of parenting and replace it with becoming a "buddy." A buddy may not last but the value of a parent who can carry off the task with love and an even hand will last a lifetime.|ret||ret||tab|

Clearly, if a family takes these suggested steps in getting ready for school, some will call it intrusion. This may be right. It is the duty of the family to intrude at the right moment and in the right way. |ret||ret||tab|

(Arthur L. Mallory, EdD, is a former president of Southwest Missouri State University and former commissioner of education who resides in Springfield.)[[In-content Ad]]