Destination Success: Resolve to keep promises made to yourself

Many of us make the same resolutions every year. A friend sent us a note in her Christmas card saying that she knew she wouldn't keep her resolutions so she resolves to shop more, eat more fattening food between meals and top her weight gain of 2003.

Why don't we keep our resolutions? More importantly, why don't we keep those promises to ourselves? The answer is easy, but the solution is hard. The answer is that we rationalize. Most of all, we know that only we will really suffer, and who will we tell?

The solution is very difficult.

Psychologists tell us that it takes 30 days to change any habit, i.e. making the bed upon arising, for example. If making a bed is so hard to commit to, what about resolutions involving money? What if we want to make $60,000 in sales? We can affirm it forever, but unless we act, the $60,000 is just a number a number we don't reach.

But what if we take that $60,000 and divide it by four? Now, we have $15,000 a quarter. $15,000 is a much easier number to take aboard. If we close $15,000 in sales every quarter, we will have closed $60,000 for the year.

Let's break it down even further. Divide the $60,000 by 12. You have to close $5,000 per month. What does it take to close that amount each month? How many calls must you make? How much follow-up must you do? When I started as an executive recruiter, my boss told me that if I made 50 or more cold calls a day, I would easily make at least $75,000 in a year. He was wrong! In my second year, I made $100,000! I am not a numbers person, but I do well when tasks are quantified for me.

Almost anything can be quantified. At a writers' conference, I heard a famous author say, "If you write a page a day, you'll have your novel in a year."

In order to fulfill any resolution for the year you must do the following.

Make the goal measurable. How will you know if you have reached it? What numbers or results are you seeking? The more measurable, the more chance you will have of reaching it.

Your goal must be specific. "I will make more money in 2004," is too vague. More money might be a penny over what you made in 2003. Make the goal very specific by resolving, "I will double my income of (amount) in 2004. I will reach my goal by (date)."

You must be accountable for reaching your goals. This is where it gets hard and, possibly, embarrassing. It is best to be accountable to another person. In his seminal book, "Think and Grow Rich," Napoleon Hill described mastermind groups. He suggested that businesspeople form small groups where they go over their goals and are also accountable for them. You might form a group of similarly motivated friends and discuss goals, successes and failures on a quarterly basis. Hill suggested that these groups be made up of people from different occupations, so there would not be competition. You might also meet with a like-minded friend. Another option is meeting with a colleague or spouse. The only way accountability works is if you are completely honest about your efforts and open to suggestions.

Rules for accountability sessions should be set in advance. Honesty is important, but it must be doled out with concrete suggestions in a tactful manner. Remember that you are in an accountability session. You're not (hopefully) participating in a drug intervention.

Be consistent. Years ago, I attended an acting workshop at the American Film Institute. A working actor (i.e. someone who didn't have a "day job" and actually made a living at acting) told us something I have never forgotten. He said that if you do one thing a day for your career, you will make it. He certainly was living proof. While most members of the Screen Actors Guild made under $5,000, he made over $200,000 and he wasn't even a "name." You would recognize his face because you have seen him so often, but he cared not about fame. For him, acting was a job. A job he was consistently committed to.

What do you really want in your life? Do you want to make the same resolutions you made last year and then, once again, be disappointed with the lack of results in your resolution? Are you going into 2004 half-heartedly? Or, are you willing to be accountable and consistent? It isn't going to be easy, but the results will change your life.

There were people who became millionaires during the Great Depression. Others made it through the downturn after 9-11 unscathed. Want to join their ranks? Resolve to keep promises to yourself.