Destination Success: Employer can ease relocation blues

Whether you are relocating from Columbia or, as I did, from Los Angeles, any move is hard. Employers can help newcomers adjust to this change in a myriad of ways.

First, let's look at why a move is often so difficult:

It is a change. This sound like a "duh," but any kind of a change causes stress on the body, whether it is positive or negative. A move from one location to another contains many layers of stress, including moving out and in, making new friends, changing doctors, changing jobs, changing churches and the sadness of what one leaves behind.

The stresses are often unexpected. Making a move is similar to the anticipation of Christmas Day and the prom. We psyche up for the event for so long that when it comes there is a corresponding downside.

Looking forward to a new house and/or new job can be exciting. I couldn't wait to get here. My husband and I moved from Los Angeles to be near my parents. We took a wonderful trip across the country, stopping at such sites as Monument Valley, the Grand Canyon and Mesa Verde.

The day we arrived, it was more than 100 degrees with terrible humidity. The weather turned into an unexpected stress for me. And that was before I realized I was allergic to ragweed!

Sometimes, jobs are not as they seemed when we interviewed for them. Neighbors are friendly, but you don't know them yet. Things like finding reliable dry cleaners start to gain an unnatural prominence on our list of worries.

It can be lonely. My parents live nearby and we had a few friends, so I did not anticipate problems in this area. Personally, I hadn't planned for the loneliness of working out of a home office again. Even though I wanted to be independent of corporate America, I found I missed the camaraderie and collegial atmosphere. I even missed the griping. When you work for yourself, who can you gripe to?

Over the past two years, I have discovered a few basic truths about relocation from an individual standpoint: You must realize that you will go through a grieving process and you cannot recreate the exact same life or lifestyle you had elsewhere.

You must be open to new opportunities. You need to try everything. The biggest mistake that I see is that people often will try a club once and never go again. They'll try a church once and never go again. I have found that it takes about three visits to see if any organization will work for you. After a few false starts, I found that joining Toastmasters and Executive Women's Club were the starting points to my feeling like Springfield was home

There is a lot that an employer can do for a newly relocated employee:

Present the employee with a packet of material about the city. There is quite a bit available through the Springfield Area Chamber of Commerce.

Set the person up on a "meet-and-greet" schedule within the company. This consists of one-hour appointments with the key players this person will be dealing with during their working day. These meetings are "get to know you" get-togethers. Usually companies set up a few of these every day for a few weeks.

Assign a variety of people to take the newcomer to lunch. It is important that these lunches are spread out over the first few months. It can stress the individual to have all the "meet and greets" and luncheons in the first week, and it can leave the person feeling bereft in the succeeding weeks. The person feels he was "rushed" and then ignored.

If possible, the manager of the new employee should host at least one dinner in the first month. This will make the new arrival and spouse feel welcome.

Take the temperature of the person periodically by asking how he's doing, telling him about local events and making the contacts that ease loneliness.

Make sure your employee is included in all company activities such as Fourth of July picnics, Christmas parties, etc. Make no assumptions that he is aware of these events.

A successful relocation depends on individual initiative, but an employer can go a long way to making it easier.