Day in the Life with Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Smirnoff is the AIC of CIA - that's agent in charge of Comrade in America Inc.

And on this mid-October morning, there's no doubt about that.

Employee Corey Taylor is methodically editing snippets of Smirnoff's TV talk show pilot as his boss sits perched on an end table a few feet away. Smirnoff grins and strokes his thick beard as he watches footage of himself interviewing Ray and Irma Ziff, a California couple fresh off their 75th wedding anniversary. The show was taped Oct. 6 before a live audience at Smirnoff's Branson theater just off U.S. Highway 65, which greets passersby with a huge caricature of him holding a blazing stick of dynamite.

Smirnoff peers into the oversized flat-screen monitor with a critical eye; the pilot, which aired Nov. 22 on KY3, has to be perfect. This is his big shot at a nationally syndicated talk show. Each time Smirnoff sees something he doesn't like, he asks Taylor to make a note on the ever-growing list of revisions.

By all employee accounts, Smirnoff is easygoing, but he's not one to sit on the sidelines. He's always involved and always involving others.

After touching base with Taylor, Smirnoff throws on his black suit coat and marches purposefully through a doorway at the rear of his office. He hangs a hard left and, within seconds, is standing on the theater stage, where he greets wisecracking sidekick Adam Hood with a signature hug.

As Smirnoff and Hood exchange a few laughs, the cold, empty theater heats up with kinetic energy. Stagehands wearing headsets stride back and forth, sometimes pausing to chat with cohorts in the sound booth. And members of Smirnoff's dance troupe - all Russian imports - begin to materialize.

With the Christmas show starting in just a couple of weeks, Smirnoff thinks everyone needs a refresher. But before rehearsal can begin, he needs the program from last year's show and implores Marketing Director Amy Hietter to retrieve a binder from his office. The curtain is closed, and Smirnoff slips out of view to consult with a stagehand about props. All bases are covered. It's showtime - sort of.

Hood emerges and warms up the imaginary crowd. Clad in a ball cap and shorts, he runs through his punch lines as dancers goofing off behind the curtain do their best to distract him. Then, the national anthem.

Smirnoff reappears and takes a seat a few rows back, the open binder resting in his lap. "So where are we?" he asks.

Two mammoth screens on either side of the stage crackle to life and introduce Smirnoff, a Ukrainian-born immigrant who arrived in the states with nothing but $100 and his sense of humor. A clip of Smirnoff on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, one of his comedic idols, offers a glimpse into his life before Branson.

The curtain swings open again, and dancers are twirling about as holiday music echoes through the large auditorium, which is imbued with plush red fabric and gold molding.

Now, it's Smirnoff's turn. He hops on stage and runs through the script, which includes jokes about Rosie O'Donnell and well-armed Communist oppressors. Then, a gaffe.

"Sorry, my bad," Smirnoff says, his accent putting a new twist on the pop-culture phrase. "That's what I'm doing this for."

Smirnoff and his troupe polish off the rest of the first act with ease. The beginning of the second act, however, is up for discussion, and Smirnoff huddles everyone in the glow of spotlights. There's talk of elves, soldiers, a Christmas tree and a Segway, of all things.

A few minutes shy of 11:30 a.m., Smirnoff's personal assistant, Joni Wilson, appears and hands him a blueberry-strawberry smoothie. The health-obsessed vegetarian takes a few slurps, and then makes a beeline for the sound booth to take a call from Taylor.

Time to run through the third act, but everyone seems to have lost their focus. Smirnoff yells to the guys in the back, but no one answers. "I think that was a union break," a deep voice booms sarcastically through the speakers.

"Yeah," says Smirnoff, who never misses an opportunity to poke fun at his homeland. "A Soviet Union break. It takes 75 years."

The noon hour arrives, and Smirnoff is late for a meeting with Kelly Koster, the lighting expert who worked on the TV pilot. Smirnoff wants to reshoot the show's opening, and to his delight, Koster says the fix is an easy one.

While Taylor and Koster talk specifics, Smirnoff ducks into his office to assess the rest of his workday. He thumbs through brightly colored Post-It notes arranged in a horizontal strip across his enormous glass desk, which is remarkably uncluttered. One note reminds him to call Lamar Advertising about billboards promoting the pilot, and he reaches for his trusty iPhone.

After checking in with Taylor again, Smirnoff retreats to a daybed in a small, darkened room attached to his office. He usually naps for 30 to 45 minutes before his 3 p.m. show, but today, he's preoccupied with the pilot. To him, it's more than a show; it's a calling.

"I believe in love and laughter, that connection," Smirnoff says. "I believe it's like gravity. It's so powerful. It's there whether you understand it or not. It's a law of nature that love comes with laughter and laughter comes with love. And once people start ... recognizing that and are able to do that, that will be my life purpose (fulfilled)."

Q&A

What were your first impressions of the United States?

I happened to be a cruise director on a ship. I was given that special permission to meet the foreigners, and Americans I was interested in meeting, because I had heard a lot about America. So they told me about some things that we never had in Russia - like policemen have warning shots - which sounded very appealing to me. Because in Russia, they didn't shoot up in the air. They would shoot you and that was warning for the next guy. They said, "We have freedom of speech." In Russia, they were also claiming we had freedom of speech. But here, in America, you have freedom after you speak, which is a nice little feature. Those were the things that appealed to me, so (my parents and I) applied for visas, which was not the most popular thing to do in those days. ...

Our first experiences were fairly dramatic. Just like a very typical immigrant story, we had nothing - literally. ... We literally had to make ends meet, but we were eager. We were so happy to be here that anything was great, better than we had. ... It was really a great success story.

Why are you so focused on health?

We're going into some economically difficult times, and I think laughter is going to be a very valuable commodity ... and I want to take my lifetime to help people and teach them how to do it in their own environment. ... The reason I'm staying healthy is because I believe that our bodies are capable to really live comfortably to 120 years old. ... I believe it's like a car - if you continue changing oil and rotating tires and doing all of that that, then you can have a very healthy life.

How do you keep crowds coming back after 16 years?

I think the crowds really can see when you're genuine. They want to see real emotion, real people, and I believe that was a God-given talent to me to be able to make people laugh and make them cry and touch their heart and touch their funny bone and do it in a split-second. ...

Charlie Chaplin was one of my American heroes when I was growing up in Russia, because I could laugh and I could cry, and that was to me an ultimate performance, because you can reach such a great range of emotion. I'm as sincere as I can be ... and people like that. People want to see that. If there is a secret, that's the secret.

How competitive are Branson's theaters and the performers who run them?

I think we complement way more than we compete. ... There's nobody domineering the market in any way, shape or form. ... We kind of promote Branson. In 15 years, I didn't see any backstabbing or anything like that from anybody. That's very unusual.

Which works better: communism or capitalism?

(Cackles) My suggestion is this - just look at the map. When system works, people don't run away from it. The moment the ship starts to sink, all the countries dropped it, because they were very much forced into that system. Capitalism - you're not forced into it; you're a participant in it. Whether you survive or not, that's a different story. I would say capitalism is my vote. ... It's been a great journey from communism to capitalism.

What's your best advice to your employees?

Most of us live in the past or in the future. We're worried about what's going to happen. I help my employees as much as I can to keep staying in the moment and recognizing this audience is coming right now, and they deserve the best they can get. And my employees are right there with me. [[In-content Ad]]