Connecting: Unanswered e-mails, phone calls a business faux pas

Marlene Chism, president of ICARE Presentations in Springfield, works with companies that want to build strong business relationships and with individuals who want to be better communicators.

Dear Marlene: There seems to be a trend that 10 years ago would have been viewed as bad manners. I'm referring to people who never respond to e-mails or phone messages, and those who say they will return your call yet they never do.

It's one thing if it's an unwanted e-mail or phone solicitation. I've noticed, however, a disturbing pattern: After what I consider to be a great connection with a client or potential client, we set a phone appointment to make a decision or to reconnect, and after three or four attempts, I still don't get a response. I wonder if I'm doing something wrong or if other people are experiencing the same frustrations. Any insights or advice will be appreciated. Bewildered

Dear Bewildered: We are all experiencing a paradox when it comes to communication: With too many choices and instant access, including faxes, e-mail, voice mail and cell phones, many people have a hard time keeping up. Assuming your intuitions are correct, and that you have had an initial connection, here are some insights that might help you to make sense of it all.

Overwhelmed

Some people don't use e-mail every day so when they finally check their mail they are overwhelmed. They skim through and delete anything that doesn't seem like a priority. Others keep unanswered e-mails as "unread," and then after 50 more e-mails they forget about their unanswered e-mails. Others use more than one e-mail address and sometimes don't check the second one regularly.

One suggestion is to make sure you have a good subject line so they know the measure of importance. Another idea is to follow up with a phone call if you don't get a response within a week.

Poor time management

If you follow up with a call and still don't get a response, it might be either bad timing on your part or poor time management on their part. Many people simply do not know how to manage time or they do not have systems in place to remind them of their responsibilities.

A suggestion is to make scheduled phone appointments for follow up so that it also is on their calendar. A sales trainer once said, "Don't use the phone to get an appointment, the phone is the appointment."

Procrastination

Sometimes you don't hear from people because they are straddling the fence. They have not made a decision or do not have further information, so instead of getting back with you to communicate the circumstances, they simply put it off with intentions of getting back with you when they get an answer. After hearing a few voice messages from you, they perceive it as pressure or they feel guilty, so they decide to ignore the message.

To avoid this miscommunication, lay down the expectations up front by saying, "I would like to touch base with you even if you don't have an answer, then I will know how or whether to proceed."

Spineless

Some people simply don't have the guts to give you the bad news. They have chosen someone else, your service is no longer needed, they have changed their mind or otherwise decided not to use your product or service.

Rather than telling you of the decision, they lead you on so that they don't have to make you unhappy. Your best defense is to let them know that you value the relationship regardless of the decision and that you are in it for the long haul.

This is a situation where you must use your instinct and decide whether to put this client's information in your inactive file. If you still see benefit in working with this company or individual, you can send a card saying that you have been unsuccessful in contacting them but that the door is still open when they are ready.

Values

Some people do not place a high value on relationships unless they find immediate satisfaction; therefore they only follow up when it is important to them. Others value the relationship but do understand that their negligence is sending out messages that they don't intend.

A rule of thumb is to be a leader instead of following the masses. Set the goal of moving beyond being right and toward being excellent. You can't control what others do, but you can communicate your expectations and live the example.

Or, you could cut this article out and send it to the offender so they will be more aware of how their patterns might be sabotaging future business relationships.