Bullying issue has impact beyond school years

Recently, we have heard much about the mistreatment of others in the workplace and schools of our nation. There is alleged bullying of children and youth by their schoolmates, and some in the workplace complain about similar activities on the parts of their coworkers.

New books are being written about this topic and businesses are sending personnel to seminars to learn how they can cope with the problem.

This issue is pretty impersonal until it gets personal. If, for example you or a member of your family becomes the target of such abuse, the issue can dominate one's thoughts.

My 14-year-old grandson Tyler, a ninth grader in Columbia, turned in the following to his teacher.

I will share it with you. Remember, this is a 14-year-old who is not a veteran writer, but his understanding of the issue is mature.

"There was never anything wrong with the best time of the day, recess. Every kid at Fairview Elementary enjoyed recess, or so all believed. There was, however, one kid who always stuck out from the rest. He was not as athletic or as quick as the others.

"There was nothing worse than another recess for young Jason Mallory. Every day was another heartbreaking experience for such a kid. This undersized, scrawny brainiac with the large red glasses was definitely not the most popular.

"The minute he stepped upon the hot blacktop he was the center of all the teasing. But Jason couldn't take a joke or a cut down. He was too emotional to handle anything negative. He would burn inside with anger and let it out at the wrong time.

"One of his classmates would say 'four-eyes.' and Jason just couldn't handle the teasing. Jason would quickly reply, 'Well at least I have eyes and can see things clearly!' This just made the group of bullies laugh even more.

"The night after the four-eyes remark Jason came home and fell into the arms of his father and told him the entire story of his horrible experience with his classmates' teasing. His father comforted him as any father would. But, after Jason stopped weeping, his dad's face got serious. 'This has happened numerous times and you just need to tough it out, and refuse to shed a tear,' his dad said.

"'I have toughed it out Dad! You always say that!' he replied.

"'I'm just trying to help you Jason. Hang on, pray, and things will get better.'

"Still, the following day, the same group made fun of him once more and again, Jason was heartbroken. But he waited for the day when he would be the leader and the one lending a hand.

"As Jason walks down the halls at Hickman High School now he smiles at everyone, even those who teased him every day during elementary school. He is mature and has been able to forget the mean and immature taunts from his classmates. Now Jason has the highest honors for his academic and other achievements, and those who were unkind to him respect him and ask for his advice.

"Jason is now 17 the dorky boy who has come out on top. He still remembers the days of loneliness and discomfort, which the kids had caused, but no one sees those memories anymore. They see only a cheerful, six-foot, highly intelligent and in-control young man. Because he persevered and was patient for all those years, those same bullies ask him for favors.

"As the boy of the four-eyes incident walks by Jason and asks, 'Could you help me with my homework tonight?' Jason smiles and replies, 'Yes.' And he feels good that night as he helps his old friend, as he calls him, now that their relationship has grown.

"During all the years he was teased, Jason overachieved in school and surpassed everyone. He became a better person because he stood firm and kept his faith in God. He grew stronger."

This is just one story about the problem of bullying. Not all such stories have a good ending. The result for those who experience such mistreatment is often anger and always sadness. Also, productivity suffers whether it is at work or in school.

This social issue is serious. What should we do?

(Arthur L. Mallory, EdD, is a former president of Southwest Missouri State University and former commissioner of education who resides in Springfield.)