Book Review: First impressions only the beginning of genuine business connections

In the preface of his book, “How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less,” author Nicholas Boothman notes that he’s not simply touting the importance of making a good first impression. What he does say his book will provide is a competitive edge, “by showing you how to take full advantage of your body, your mind, your voice, and above all, your imagination to maximize the potential in every relationship, be it business related, personal or social.”

That’s a fairly bold statement, but Boothman delivers, blending his personal experiences with some research and plenty of useful exercises.

Getting started

In Part I, Boothman covers what he calls “the basics.” He notes that people – and our ability to connect with them – are the foundation upon which business-related conditions, such as the market, strength of corporate culture and customer satisfaction, are built.

Much of Boothman’s insight in this chapter is gleaned from his first job, when he served as personal assistant to Francis Xavier Muldoon, advertising manager for Woman, one of the largest-circulation weekly magazines in the United Kingdom. Quoting what he calls “The Gospel of Muldoon,” Boothman writes, “First impressions set the tone for success more often than class, credentials education, or what you paid for lunch.” This section is filled with anecdotes of a young Boothman, learning from Muldoon how to connect with people.

Among Muldoon’s rules:

• When you meet someone, look them in the eye and smile.

• When you want them to feel like they already know you, be a chameleon.

• Capture the imagination, and you capture the heart.

Muldoon taught Boothman that eyes radiate authority and give direction, focus and meaning to a person’s message. One of the exercises in Part I is to make a mental note of the eye color of everyone you meet for one day. It’s pretty simple; Boothman doesn’t say you have to memorize it, just take notice, and the result will be increased confidence, eye contact and rapport, without having to do anything intimidating. Variations, including one in which customers are visually and verbally surveyed for eye color, are aimed at different groups, but all seem fairly simple to implement.

Connecting with human nature

In Part II, Boothman addresses snap judgements, and he notes that they are made on the subconscious level and are part of the way people are wired. While we can’t stop people from making them, the author notes that there are ways we can make those snap judgments work in our favor.

Boothman’s recommendations:

• Neutralize the fight-or-flight response by being mindful of body language and personal packaging. Attitude, posture, facial expressions and eye contact can help with this, as well as adjusting attitude to fit a particular situation. Demonstrating open body language shows others that you present no threat.

• Ask “softening” questions to put people at ease. Some examples are “Excuse me, can I ask you a question?” or “What do you think about … .”

• Synchronize your body language and tone of voice.

• Respect people’s space, as getting too close can trigger the fight-or-flight response and damage rapport.

Working your ABCs

In Part III, Boothman focuses on the effect of visual impressions. “The key to communicating your attitude is body language and congruence,” Boothman writes. He notes, too, that attitudes are real, and can be controlled and consciously chosen.

Among the author’s key points and suggestions for managing attitude, body language and congruence:

• Attitude is the first thing about you that people notice, and it rubs off on others.

• Body language accounts for more than half of what others respond to when connecting with you. Open body language, which can be as simple as a smile, is more welcoming than closed body language such as lack of eye contact or defensively crossed arms, which will push people away.

• People in rapport subconsciously synchronize each other’s body language and vocal characteristics.

• When your body language, tone of voice and words are all saying the same thing, you are congruent, or believable. If words and body language aren’t saying the same thing, people will be confused and put off.

There are a lot of exercises in this chapter, but the one that most intrigues me is called Heart-to-Heart. Basically, it entails pointing your heart at the heart of everyone you meet, and it is designed to demonstrate open body language and build trust and comfort. It seems simple, but I wonder if it works?

There are many other exercises and ideas that speak to businesses and businesspeople:

• A big idea – a good idea that is crafted into a mission statement – gives a brief but memorable explanation of why an organization exists. It should capture the spirit of an organization. It should refer directly to what a company does, but not to a product or a service.

• An effective professional style balances authority with affordability, and if you want to change your style, experiment until you find one that works for you.

• Introductions are an important part of business. Handling them graciously is a hallmark of polished professionals. Don’t wait to be introduced, and whenever possible, stand up to greet others. Keep your handshake firm, quick and respectful. Also, bring others together by introducing them. By doing this, you will be seen as an accomplished facilitator.

• On the phone, your tone and pacing are just as important as the words you choose.

• Business lunches or other social occasions are about connecting, exploring and sharing. Know what you want and stay focused on making connections.

This book is easy to read, and Boothman backs up his points and suggestions by giving practical examples. Whether you’re shy and want to come out of your shell, or you are comfortable interacting with others, there’s information in this book that you might find useful.