Bobble-headed teens leave viewers scratching theirs

When watching television commercials, do you ever wonder who the target audiences might be? I do. Of course I do; otherwise I have no column this week. Commercials aren't just tossed together in hopes of snaring couch potatoes too slow on the remote control trigger to zap them. No, the people who produce ads have in mind demographic groups they want to reach.

Sometimes I can easily spot the intended audiences; other commercials baffle me. Not the least of which are some Wal-Mart ads. I'm not talking about the ads featuring a smiling happy face that looks like a yellow M&M candy, wearing a hardhat (no body, just a face) flitting about cutting prices on store signs. These ads are aimed at people who want to save money, and might actually buy into the notion that an M&M candy face can cut prices.

Those on my agenda are Wal-Mart ads with shoppers having more fun than anyone should have in public, especially in an enormous building crammed with merchandise and shoppers.

Giddy customers in various ads include teen-agers having a great time shopping, a working mother who is absolutely bubbly over items available for her. Married couples, old and young, are equally euphoric shoppers.

One ad has two sisters who can't wait to get together to shop and giggle while tossing stuff into their carts; they continue to giggle after they get home. Another depicts two old-er men who announce they went to work at Wal-Mart because of all the fun to be had at the store. One of the old-timers says that if he weren't working at the store, he would probably be hanging around because of all the fun to be had.

Now, pay attention here: I have nothing against Wal-Mart. It's a fine organization, one whose growth rate is incredible. If it keeps growing, it may someday share ownership of the world with Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey. But could anyone with a measurable IQ be-lieve shopping at Wal-Mart is that much fun?

The Wal-Mart parking lot is the size of Iowa. A fleet of jumbo jet cargo airplanes could be parked inside the store. You won't find shoppers roaring with gales of laughter. You are more likely to see normal people shopping, hoping they can find their cars when they leave. In fairness to Wal-Mart, the TV ads of a competitor, Target, are in my humble opinion among the most lame-brained on TV.

Target, a nice, clean, well-stocked, slightly upscale chain, airs truly irritating ads. That's not all. Unless you happen to spot the Target logo, you may not even know whose commercials they are; considering the quality of the ads, this may not be a bad thing. In them, viewers are treated to scenes of mostly anorexic-looking teen-agers jumping around I honestly can't think of it as dancing to what may be music, but I wouldn't call it that.

Although Target is never mentioned, a wild guess on my part is that the outfits worn by the teen-agers can be purchased at Target. Are these teen-agers the target of Target's ads?

Another perplexing series of ads are presently being used by automaker Mitsubishi. These feature music reminiscent of the Target ads; it's that weird. In the commercials, various car models are filled with young people who look surprisingly like the ones in the Target ads. Their actions are difficult to describe. They look sort of like bobbing- head dolls gyrating to the music as they ride in the cars: certainly makes me want to rush out and buy one.

The most unbelievably bad commercial among the bad ones is for the Mitsubishi Eclipse, a really fine, sporty car. You would never know it by watching the commercial. A glassy-eyed girl in the front passenger seat is swinging her arms in a manner which suggests she has: 1. dislocated both shoulders and is trying to put them back in place; 2. she is working on a swimming stroke; or 3. she has some sort of nervous disorder, perhaps St. Vitus Dance. Thank goodness she wasn't driving. The others in the car are run-of-the-mill bobbing-head dolls.

I hope the Eclipse survives this idiotic commercial. It is a nice car. Why promote it with an idiotic ad that doesn't even hint that a normal person might buy it?

I guess the bobbing heads like those in the commercial are the target audience. I shudder at the thought of them driving cars. I'm out of space. I have more to say.

To be continued ...

(Joe McAdoo is former chairman of the communication department at Drury University.)