Authentic Power: Responsibility starts with looking in mirror

Marlene Chism, president of ICARE Presentations in Springfield, works with companies that want to build strong business relationships and with individuals who want to be better communicators.

No one has ever said, "I wish I'd charged more on my credit card."

No one ever said, "I wish I'd had one more drink, had one more helping of dessert, interrupted more often, or treated a customer more rudely or told one more lie."

Yet every day someone overextends their credit, drinks too much, has one more helping of dessert, fails to listen, treats a customer poorly or tells one more lie.

Human nature is such that it seems easier to live in denial than to face the truth of the situation and to take responsibility. This law applies both personally and professionally.

If you've ever said, "I won't get on the scale because I couldn't deal with what it reveals," the real message is, "I'd rather not take responsibility."

The truth is, you weigh what you weigh whether you know it or not.

There are always reasons why something is so, but lying about it, making excuses or avoiding the truth doesn't change the facts. What happens when denial no longer works? You get a consequence that you don't like. After that comes the blame.

Maria Hoover's insightful column in the March 29 Springfield Business Journal is a reminder of how far off base the blame game has gotten us.

"Anyone who wants to place blame for bad eating habits and associated health problems should stand in front of a mirror before pointing a finger," Hoover wrote. Her article refers to the new Responsibility in Food Consumption Act, also known as the cheeseburger bill, and how the blame game has created the need for yet another law.

The pattern is this: You eat too much fast food (denial) then you have health problems (consequence), then comes the lawsuit (blame), the business needs protection so legislation is created, and a new law is formed to try to make people become responsible.

For some reason, lots of people are missing the connection between responsibility and looking in the mirror. Looking in the mirror would prevent the finger pointing altogether.

Facing the truth doesn't seem to be all that important when things are going your way, yet there is a high price to pay when truth comes knocking at your door: the consequences.

Proof of this philosophy is sprinkled across the newspapers as you read of corporate scandals (WorldCom, Tyco, Enron, ImClone), and executives getting caught and going to prison.

Major newspapers are littered with accounts of cause and effect.

Case in point: A New York Times article about Richard M. Scrushy the CEO and founder of HealthSouth who directed his CFO to inflate the numbers.

Of course, blame always follows. In Scrushy's case there was a reason: to meet Wall Street expectations. How convenient it must be to blame Wall Street expectations.

Blame doesn't just show up in the financial world.

Another article in the New York Times stated a major reason for the destruction of Space Shuttle Columbia, resulting in the death of seven crewmembers, was "a broken safety culture at NASA."

The reason (blame) for the broken safety culture, according to the article, "was the need to meet flight schedules." Has anyone ever heard of ethics and priorities?

Here's a profound thought: If everyone would quit fibbing about their numbers, or would commit to reporting the truth instead of trying to meet some unrealistic expectation, the standards that we are all blaming might actually adjust to reflect more realistic expectations for everyone.

I wonder if Dennis Kozlowski regrets stealing $600 million from his company, or if WorldCom's Bernard Ebbers and Enron's Jeff Skilling regret lying about company finances? I wonder if Martha Steward and Sam Waksal have a few regrets?

William Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

To that I say, "You cannot be true to that which you do not know."

Very few people truly know themselves because that requires facing the truth. Facing the truth requires you to become responsible. As long as you avoid the truth, you can conveniently blame life, your background, your parents, your status, your looks, Wall Street standards or anything else that would keep you from being in your authentic power. It takes courage to face the truth.

Facing the truth starts by looking in the mirror.