'Alien vs. Predator' entertaining ... for teenagers

“Dude, like, what would happen if those ‘Alien’ things, who are the ultimate survivor dudes, got in a fight with those ‘Predator’ dudes who are the ultimate killers? It would be so-o-o awesome. Like Superman fighting the Hulk or that time on ‘South Park’ when Santa Claus and Jesus duked it out. Awesome, dude.”

One can only imagine that what predicated the making of “Alien vs. Predator” was the numerous blogs, bulletin board postings and e-mails that read something like the preceding paragraph.

And the film will no doubt please its target audience.

“Alien vs. Predator” is one of those head-scratching concept films that – upon seeing the previews – one doesn’t know if it’s serious or an outtake from “Saturday Night Live.” I laughed so hard when I first saw the trailers, I figured a punch line had to be coming. I thought it was going to be a parody in the vein of the “Naked Gun” films.

But it’s not.

It is, in its own way, serious about its subject. To give the film proper credit, I’ll say that the special effects are flawless; and the recreations of both the reptilian monsters from the “Alien” series and the helmet-wearing, dreadlock-sporting, humanoid killers from the “Predator” films are presented perfectly.

Director/writer Paul W.S. Anderson also shows he has a sense of humor: In the opening scene of “Alien vs. Predator,” a technician at the Weyland satellite array facility is shown whiling away his time keeping watch on the data streaming in from Weyland’s numerous high-tech spacecraft.

What’s on the TV he’s set up to help him through the mostly boring night?

It’s “Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman.” If you blink you’ll miss it, but for me it was the best, and most honest, scene in the film.

Data streaming from one of Weyland’s satellites rouses the technician from his routine. It seems heat has been detected in Antarctica. The imaging shows a heretofore unknown pyramid heating up about 2,000 feet beneath the ice.

Charles Bishop Weyland, who owns the ambiguously drawn Weyland Corporation, is played by Lance Henriksen who played a cyborg named Bishop in “Aliens.” He assembles a team to head to Antarctica with the intent of finding out what the heck is going on. Viewers will wonder as well. And they also will wonder about the nature of Weyland’s company and why he is so compelled to make this trip. These are just two of the many things the film’s “plot” glosses over.

When Weyland’s crew arrives in Antarctica, they find an interesting phenomenon. Something has bored a perfectly round tunnel, at an exact 30 degree angle, down to the submerged pyramid.

So much the better: The crew has a way in. But they have misgivings as to how the hole was made.

When they arrive at the pyramid, all are in awe, and rightly so. The set design and effects are really quite good here.

Weyland’s crew discovers inside the pyramid a nest of what all of us who have seen the “Alien” films know to be Aliens-in-waiting. If that’s not ominous enough, soon after this, a spaceship full of the Predators invades the scene.

At first the viewer doesn’t know whom to root for. Actually, by this time I wanted everyone in the movie to die a horrible death, because then I could head home.

But director Anderson delivers a few good concepts. Those who are familiar with the “Alien” films will, at first, wonder how “Alien vs. Predator” can be set in the present and still keep continuity with the other films in the series, all of which are set in the future. The final scene in “Alien vs. Predator” explains this scenario in a fairly effective manner.

The “Predator” movies didn’t grab me much. They were OK but still seemed like high-tech 1950s-era monster movies. The “Alien” series is another matter. Ridley Scott’s original and James Cameron’s follow-up, “Aliens,” were classics. I even liked the third and fourth episodes. It’s sad that 20th Century Fox has stooped to this, but if you’re in the right frame of mind (for mindless, well-executed entertainment) and your tongue is firmly in cheek, “Alien vs. Predator” is an OK summertime diversion.

How about if Rambo fought Rocky? Man that would be AWESOME!