It’s scary. I can’t stop thinking about Woody Justice.
I called him up and asked him how many times he’s asked me to let him be my jeweler. He grabbed a calculator and ran the numbers.
Over the last 18 years, he says he’s made his plea at least 120,000 times. Maybe that’s why I can’t forget him. Maybe that’s why he owns a store that belongs on Rodeo Drive instead of at I-65 and Battlefield Road in Springfield.
Don’t take my word for it. Talk to any media executive. Each has their own version of Woody’s success story. While you’ve got them talking, get them to tell you what makes advertising work. First they’ll say they’re No. 1, then they’ll tell you to take a simple message and aim it at the right market for your product. Ad agency moguls essentially agree with this and are willing, for a fee, to take things to the next level. They’ll dream up a theme, crank out an ad and hammer it home to your target audience.
They fervently subscribe to the First Great Commandment of Advertising: Run the hell out of a good ad.
So, why is it the very people charged with making ads work, the folks at the ad agencies and the media, ignore their own advice?
It’s because it’s difficult for them to do something simple.
Take, for example, their company names. Most ad agencies, like law firms, don’t even try to pick a name people can remember.
They name their firms after themselves. Feldspar, Kackinberg & Licketysplit; Padorowski, Liverspot & Muck are good examples of bad names. About the time the paint dries on the door to their new office, it occurs to them that no one will ever find them in the phone book, so they shorten their name to their initials; FKL, PLM, JWT or BBD & O, as if the abbreviation will make a difference.
Local agencies aren’t as guilty as the Madison Avenue bunch, but we do endure ACR Nally, RDI, WDT and TPS. Thankfully, Bill Perkin of Perkin Marketing Services has yet to abbreviate.
Then there’s the media. Accurately defining the Ozarks’ broadcast media is about as confusing as finding your way around Southern Hills, but it’s not the broadcasters’ fault. Radio and TV stations don’t have a choice about their names, thanks to the infinite wisdom of the Feds, as stations have been stuck with call letters since 1934: KYTV, KOLR, KGBX, KTTS, etc. It takes a couple of generations before most people sort them out.
The best local radio station name is Alice at 95.5. No other station has such an easy name to remember. Hint to the media: if you want people to remember your TV or radio station, rename it “Phil.”
The clutter continues in print media. Magazine publishers have an odd tendency to double-up words to create a name – Homes & Land, Mother & Child, Parent & Family, Bricks & Mortar, Tan & Fit, Etc. & Etc., – which makes me suspect they’re insecure about something.
Gary Whitaker, publisher of 417 Magazine, probably frets about our explosive population growth, sensing that the phone industry will assign the region another area code. If it ever happens, I guess he’ll change his masthead to “417 + 567.” Or he could add both area codes together and call his magazine “984.”
Billboard companies hang out little signs on their big empty signs that feature their name and number so you can call them and rent the space. How many of the following billboard company names do you recognize: Ayres, MCN, Missouri Neon, Petex, Porter, Prime, Southwest, Watkins and Wise?
And what kind of grade would you give local advertising agencies and local media for simple name recognition? Bet it’s not an “A.”
Let’s assume you want to create an ad and buy some advertising. There’s a possibility you’d look up “Advertising Agencies” in the yellow pages. There are 50 local ad agencies listed in SBC’s book. Only three have more than a regular listing, which, incidentally, is free. Three of 50 ad agencies – less than 7 percent of the very people who tell you to mix media and spend liberally – promote themselves in the yellow pages.
Granted, I’m a little sensitive about this since I’m in the yellow page business, but dang it, I virtually never see ad agencies run TV spots, put their ads in magazines or newspapers or use billboards.
And the media is even worse.
“Advertising is an investment,” they chortle. “You must make a commitment to make it work!”
Ask them to show evidence of their company’s commitment and their investment. Chances are they aren’t reinvesting like they’re asking you to.
Media, in general, are poor self-promoters. Most do the majority of their advertising on their own airways or in their own publications, thereby recirculating their viewers/listeners/readers. Don’t they want any NEW consumers?
They’d best heed their own advice, do some media mixing and say something simple -– about 120,000 times.
Bob May is former managing partner of five local radio properties and is now engaged in the publishing of large-print phone directories in about 50 small towns in southwest Missouri.
