I met Cathy when I was a freshman in high school, and we were both competing for the junior varsity cheerleading squad. The first words I spoke to her were, “Have you ever broken your nose?”
She replied, “No.”
Ugh. What did I know about making friends? Prior to high school, I had a best friend from kindergarten through eighth grade. The problem was, we never liked each other very much. Once we hit high school, my not-so-likable best friend found a new, trouble-making crowd and we broke up. So I ventured into the angst-filled battlefield of high school as a lonely, tactless, defensive soldier.
“Have you ever broken your nose?”
She laughed at the absurdity of my question just as I realized how brutally rude it was. Cathy taught me how to be a great friend. Here’s the key: Have fun together. That’s all there is to it. Sure, you may grow to trust a friend – if she honors you by telling the truth. You may grow to respect a friend for his integrity or accomplishments. But to make a friend, all you’ve got to do is have fun.
Cathy and I both made the cheerleading squad, so we spent lots of time together. Our top priority was to make one another laugh. And we have been friends now for over 40 years.
Isn’t that something? What does it take to keep friends like that? It starts with fun. It starts with sharing a common reality and acknowledging it, by a look or a laugh. And it sticks around because you don’t ask too much of it.
In all the right places
Fun helps in friendship, marriage, parenthood and business.
If you have managed to stay married for more than 15 minutes, you’ve probably shared a few laughs. Having kids is bonding because kids are hilarious. Quality time with your kids usually means having fun together.
If you love going into your shop every day, you probably have a few friends on your team. And making friends with your customers is a great way to build your business.
People buy from people they like. If you have fun with your customers, they are going to buy – and buy more – from you. Here are a few suggestions for expanding your squad.
1. Create a list of 25 people for whom you have worked and enjoyed the experience.
2. Next to each person’s name, think of one nonbusiness-related, interesting thing you know about that person. You don’t need to sell anything now, just think nice thoughts and love on them. Energy is contagious.
3. Do something nice – something fun – for one person on the list this week. Here are some ideas:
• Send a handwritten note letting him know that you appreciate him as a good customer and as a friend.
• Include a refund check for your business services – with “Just Kidding” inked across the signature line.
• Subscribe to her blog. Leave a heartfelt comment and a sprinkling of emoticons.
• When you run across a press clipping about him – good news only – send it to him in a star-studded frame.
• Trick or treat in her neighborhood – with an age-appropriate kid in a costume. Make sure it’s Halloween.
• Invite him and his kids to join you for a Cardinals game.
• Wear and carry her corporate gear – T-shirt, hat, coffee mug, the more the better – to her office for an impromptu visit.
• And hey, sometimes relationships break down. If you owe an apology, write a sincere note taking responsibility and send it – in a giant box of pencil erasers.
Week after week, do something fun for one of your customers. Keep adding names to the list. As you get to know them better, you’ll be inspired to do more nice things and have some fun. Ultimately, if it makes good sense, they will buy something from you. And you will buy from them. That’s how it works.
Just don’t ask if they ever broke their nose.
Ellen Rohr is an author and business consultant offering profit-building tips, trending business blogs and online workshops at EllenRohr.com. Her books include “Where Did the Money Go?” and “The Bare Bones Weekend Biz Plan.” She can be reached at ellen@ellenrohr.com.
